Monday, November 29, 2010

diabetes top ten

Top ten things I as a diabetic don't want to hear about, revised
1.If you see making choices to not eat something because i think it would be bad for me, but then i eat something horribly high carb anyway... then all i have to  say to you is that Since i'm going to cover it with medicine i pick and choose what i will at a risk i choose to take when i want, think of it as me picking my  posion if you don't mind.

2.The food i bring to snack on or eat as a meal i cover for, therefore I don't share food, period. Also do not eat a diabetic or a girls chocolate i save those for emergency and it's not cute or funny when you take it.

3. I have no problem checking my sugar or giving myself a shot in public, and if you see me lick the tiny bit of blood left over from checking then don't freak out, i always wanted to be a vampire ya know

 4. If you see me shooting up then don't make a big deal about and DON"T give me the "oh my gosh i would rather die," because it's stupid and ignorant. So i guess i  or you should just die then? You get over it i promise, especially if you want to live

5. I don't like the diabetes police and therefore will stomp out a your evil tyranny before it evens starts. You just need to trust that i'm handling it okay?

 6. I would like to apolgize in advance for mean spirited comments i may say while low, actually i take that back most likely what i said was true i just didn't have the guts to say it till i was low!

7. I will use the diabetes card on you, it sometimes it will be legit, but i'l let you in on a secret i will use the diabetes card so i won't get pressured into drinking alcohol.

8.Think of diabetes is a another job, and if you think i complain to much then you try worrying about it 24-7. I listen to your problems you can't stop for one second and listen to mine? Diabetes isn't fun and will suck forever,but at least lend a friendly ear when i'm having a bad day and don't be judgmental.

9. Learning about diabetes is great, but please don't think just because your *insert relative* did *insert diet* or had *insert awful expereince* or *insert body part amputated* as way to relate to me.. your either going to freak me out or waste your breath.

10. I CAN HAVE SUGAR. Take that away from me and I just might kill you... I'm not even joking

Friday, November 26, 2010

dreaded thanksgiving day

Happy Thanksgiving everybody i hope the food wasn't to hard on your sugars! Yes it's that time of year again where we all go to our family gatherings and stuff ourselves full of good stuff like turkey, stuffing, pie and soda ( i always notice people forget the diet for me). This week and year is a little different for me because i am not around family, but was the food temptation still there? First off food tempetation is around me 24-7! Even though i wanna play devil advocates with my sugars, i can't help but wanna have cheat days every couple of days are so!

Thanksgiving can be a huge pitfull for a diabetic. I would love to just not even worry about it and unfortuanelty this holiday becomes my cheat day no matter if i'm doing good with sugars are not. It's hard to be good anytime of the year, but holidays are especially hard when you do'n want to be left out and you just want to feel normal for once and consume lots of food.( Is it funny how spending time with friends ad family always involves food or presents?). I know i'm smarter then that, we are all smarter then that, but i don't think we should feel to bad for giving in once and a while. The real big deal is making sure we don't make a habit of it. SO as much as i would love to eat pumpkin pie every day i'm not, maybe instead i'll add pumpkin to my shakeology.

Another way not to feel so bad for is to exercise which is always important no matter what!! The other thing i have to be consicious of is not to eat till i'm past full, which i still struggle with from my fast food days (which  come and go to!) and when i would wait to eat so that i coul consume alot of food. This season if you do decide to eat outside your normal means make sure to start over tomorrow, if your diabetic make sure to keep your sugars in check as much as you can.
I have noticed the last couple weeks that i get this feeling where i wake up and i don't want to do anything diabetic, i even feel this more so when my sugars aren't showing good results. I even feel this more so after a doctors appointment!! I swear after a doctors appointment i just wanna eat out, and usually i do! Yes i do because i end up hungry for some reason. Well i went to the doc and nutritionnist before the big turkey day (how convenient!). The biggest problem i'm facing right now is documenting my sugars, even though i take my medicine with my meals i can't find the best ways to tweak or fix any problems because i don't write the results down (this is whati ahve to do, check my sugar before and after meals, before and after exercise, anytime i'm low or high that could average to about 11-14 sticks a day). I tell you the truth i don't want to write the sugars down at all, why would i want more stuff to worry about doing on top of all the diabetic stuff i do already (daibetes is af ull time job, exercise eating stress just plain living affects it all the time). But i found something out that i'm not to happy about :( if i don't have my sugars in the right range, especially when i exercise i won't lose weight :( I need to look up more info on this, but it kind of makes sense. Once again it's my fault for not being able to lose weight :( even though this whole month i have been exercising and drinking shakeology i'm sabotaging myself. Isn't that how it goes for everybody when there trying to lose weight, you sabotage yourself? Diabetes gets me again!! I did tell my doc this, at least you can never get bored with diabetes because things change on you all the time (seriously what i could do a month ago i can't do now, it's aggravating). Now i do have a neat device to help me out, but it kinda depressed me the week before, i have a continous glucose montior to help me watch my sugars. Think of it as the gps of my sugars, it shows me if it's going up down left or right :) I guess my next goal is this in diabetes

1) my doc wants me to make one meal a priority that i check, so i'm choosing breakfast because i want to eat oatmeal and eggs every morning.
2) try to figure out cgm software, and do more to input info on that (which means inputing what i eat and medicine i take twice now, for the two different machines my pump and the cgm fun fun).
3) decrease my basal when i exercise by 50 percent, because my sugars need to be normal when i exercise. This should be interesting, i just hope it doesn't hinder my performance or make me go to low to quickly.

I also had a long chat with my nutritionist, she wants me eating 3 meals a day that are 45 carbs each and two 15 carb snacks, in total that is 165 carbs, around 1,400 cals, to help me lose weight. I asked her to take a look at my shakeology website to tell me what she thinks of the site, we also discussed how important it is to have carbs in your diet. Another school of thought is that low carb is the way ago, i don't support that idea and the nutritionist made a interesting point you need carbs to for the energy, no carbs means no energy! With exercise i need all the energy i can get! I like my coach's idea of eating more carbs during the day and less at night, that way you burn carbs/calories when you exercise during the day. Also talked about high fructose corn syrup, i don't eat it as much as i can but my nutritionist said that there is alot of hype around it and that the high fructose corn syrup is a problem because people drink or eat high amounts of it (think coke cola), she said some is okay. I'm going to be safe rather then sorry and just not have any, i'm also going to try and cut DIET soda out because i read somewhere that it can make you hungrier plus it has bad stuff in it anyway. SO  i learned alot of stuff this weekend on the eve before turkey day! Kinda ruined it for me in both aspects, no fun watching sugars during the holidays! no fun being a healthy stickler diabetic during the holidays either! That's why i thank god for shakeology, at least i feel like i'm trying to do some good to my body with all the nutrition in it.

Well here's to a hopefully good end to this year! I know i'm having new struggles as i try to continue being healthy, it seems old habits just want to creep back! Right now my sleep is all messed up and i don't know if this is just me but if my sleep is messed up then EVERYTHING In my life falls in my diabetic black hole, all my efforts and motivation go down and bring everything else in my life down to. I'm going to try my best to fix my sleep and make exercise and diabetes a priority this month! Tomorrow is another day to start anew my friends!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

meeting kat von d

Last week i went to Kat Von D's book signing!!! The book is titled "The Tattoo Chronicles" which is her thoughts, insights, and daily life working as tattoo artist and the people she meets. The event was held at Borders thank you borders, and it was quite full. All i know is people were saying there were like a 500 people there, and they had to double up on wrist band colors. My friend and I were group 3, which mean there were 100 people before us! We showed up early and awaited to meet the coolest person on earth!! All i can remember is that i got a hug from Kat Von D, she had a wonderful smile, beautiful make up, and she looked hello tired (she had driven from up north to race down here to make it). I got my picture taken with her and she signed my book, that's when she noticed the bag in my hand. YES i bought a gift for kat von d! i was so happy to meet her and i wanted to share with her some cool beachbody stuff!!

I ended up buying her a glittery pink virgin mary coin bank and i gave her a copy of my coveted Turbo Fire sampler Hitt 5 dvd (which i got at turbo fire release party, stay tuned for that story!). Enjoy the clips and vids i got, and go out and read her book it's quite interesting and shows a totally differnt side to this wonderful women. Not only is she insightful a hard worker, but she very sensitive and truly passionate girl who is in love with love, who isn't! Also there are tons of piccs and stories of people she has encoutered in the tattoo world. Let's just say that this side of kat is not the one you get to easily see on the tv show. I Hope she loves turbo Fire it's my fave workout and i give her some businesss cards to ><! yes i did! She seemed really thankful for the gift and excited that i gave her a workout. Hey celebs have to workout to :) My next goal? get a awesome chest piece from her :)

view video here, links to youtube,

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Crazy Week

This week has been crazy for me!! Or should i say INSANE, because I went to SHAUN T Event in  San Diego this past weekend (hosted by the wonderful Scott Lord). I will say that morning i was not in the mood for exercise, i'm so not morning person, but i woke my butt up early and drove over and i'm glad i did because it was great seeing the room fill up with other beachbody  coaches and exercise insanity enthusiast! All my beachbody coach friends showed up and we eagerly awaited for the our special guest to arrive!! I was little nervous, but i found a great spot in the back row... THAT'S RIGHT BACK ROW, i didn't want to go up front where all the mega insanity grads were going to be and so i thought i would be safe in the back modifiying and doing waht i can...i thought i would be safe... Shaun t comes fashionably late, and whiel there setting up his mic before he enters, everybody is just staring and waiting. When i see him step into the room, still adjusting and getting ready, nobody says a word so i say "Shaun t?" and BAM he's ready and he comes straight to me and gives me a big HUG!!!! I GOT THE FIRST HUG, ME!!!!! *faint* it was such a privlege and honor to be hugged by this amazing trainer!! Right away we started to work out! Let me tell you this i don't do insanity, not yet, but i have done couple insanity workouts but this workout he did that day was lie super insanity. Most likely becuse he just finished doing ASLYUM, and he threw in some of those moves in their. I tried my best to keep up and i modifyed what i could because it's important to never stop moving! So i'm  chilling in the back doing this lunge like move when all of sudden he jumps down from stage and enters teh crowd, i think "no worries i'm in the back" and all of sudden this camera (there was a camera crew there) and shaun t appear out of no where. Shaun is yelling  "GO GO GO GO GO" and i'm like in shock i just keep moving and doing the lunges as fast as i can so i don't disappoint. I think i was part shocked, part motivated, and part mortified that i got bee lined!!! But i will say it was awesome!! i did the move with his encouragement, even if i couldn't breath after-wards. I was gald when the camera went away so i could catch my breath!!! NEVER EVER think that since your in the back your off the hook NEVER THINK THAT. The first hour workout (yes i said a hour) was great i worked really hard doing pushups of all sorts and many moves that involved using your whole body lie jumping jacks. Shaun t was nice enough to do a photo op and signging and then it was lunchtime!! After lunch we did another workout, and yes i was praying for rockin body or hip hop abs but we still got a good workout with the interesting strength moves we did. My fave move of the day was the crawl around the room. Basically we had to craw like a bear without suing our knees, it was a interesting way to meet people! At the end of the workout we ran in place and tried to go as fast as we could, shaun t had us run up to him and we were all together in a circle running as hard as we could. It was great motivation to keep on moving, after that we yelled in the camera about how much we loved Insanity! Whew! What a day what a workout! I did end up buying a shaun T tank, which i love and was surprised that the size L fit me! I also won a tshirt that says insanity and marks the day, along with all my coach friends (very lucky concidence). Shaun T did a q and a and here's some things i learned about him
1. he loves gymnastics!!
2. i asked when rockin body 2 was coming out, and he said he wishes! I guess it wasn't popular when it came out. But he loves dancing to and says who knows maybe. Let's make this happen!
3 Aslyum comes out in the end of February, it's a stand alone from insanity, it's more like endurance sports like. The ladder will come with the package
4. His main influneces for insanity was the exercises and endurance exercises they did for track in highschool
5. Shaun t once made 15 dollars a exercise class and would do it 7 days a week all  because he loved working out
6.He has his own personal trainer and goes to exercise classes!! especially dance
7. If janet jackson called to say he needed to come be a back up dancer he would drop what he was doing and go
8. shaun t eats like 30 egg whites a day ( i think he said 30 or 40 but omg!)
9. One of his fave snacks is salt and vinegar chips, he said he has reached a point where he doesn't feel guilty for eating what he wants. It's all about moderation and exercise, he doesn't beat himself up for wanting a sweat!

also he has the coolest shoes ever, there nike, yellow and black and they say DIG DEEPER on the back!!
Also i told him i think he could beat chuck norris and he said nahhhh, and i got another hug :).

Monday, November 15, 2010

Happy World Diabetes Day!

Hello everybody and happy World Diabetes Day! Why November 14? It's the birthday of Sir Frederick Banting, the co-discoverer of insulin, a very important medicine for diabetics. This month and day are all about awareness, to just know that this disease does exist even if you can't point it out easily, many don't realize they have diabetes. MSN NBC article says that the american diabetes association says daibetes "kills more Americans each year than breast cancer and AIDS combined."( signs to look out for that i have actually experienced are increase thirst, frequent urination, unexpected weight loss, extreme faitgue and irriabitlity. (for some, like  type 2, there is no signs). There are also more then one type of diabetes: type 1, type 2, gestional diabetes, type 1.5 (LADA). You don't have to be overweight or young to get diabetes, people of all sizes and ages can get diabetes. Doctors aren't sure what causes it but our genetics play a big part as well as our sedentary lifestyles and the processed foods present in our culture.

Diabetes is aauto immune disease (think good guys kill the good guys on accident because they look like a bad guy). I am type 1 diabetic, which means my pancreas doesn't produce insulin, and get this it's just little tiny part of the pancreas that doesn't work!! When you eat food, or carbs, the digestive system breaks it down into glucose, now insulin is a hormone that helps use glucose to energy. Without the insulin to help, the glucose builds up and starts using body fat for energy and then ketones build up in the blood and urine which result in high blood sugars. This happend to me and they call it diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA), this happens when the blood sugar is high for to long and the end result could be a coma or death. Luckily for me i was able to visit the ER and get fixed up and that's when i was introduced to insulin. Without this life saving hormone i wouldn't be able to live a normal life. It's been three years since i've been diagnosed and i have learned so much about diabetes. To keep your sugars in check i constantly check my sugars and go see my doctor. I use a pump (omnipod) to help give myself insulin without using needles, and soon i'll be able to usea continuous glucose monitor (CGM, think gps for your sugars, all day  long).

You can find more blogs about my diabetes in my past blogs, everything from dealing with depression, why diabetics don't care of themselves, haikus and some humor. Now that i know about diabetes i can help others because just like me in the beginning i knew nothing about this disease.

I hope i was able to educate and show little about diabetes today, maybe one day we can have a Hug A Diabetic Day in November. Go ahead and hug one anyway!Remember diabetics don't get a day off from the disease, but it's the most manageable disease of them all. So go find the diabetic in your life and tell them how awesome they are!

Some great sites about diabetes: is the American diabetes association website, join their Stop diabetes Campaign at and use My Health advisor to determine your risk at

Need a social network to connect with other diabetics then use, create your own page and participate in the forum or write a blog. Diabetes Hands Foundation runs this site and other unique ventures like the fun application called Health Seeker on facebook (it helps you create goals, rewards you points, introduces information, and you can challenge your friends to healthy conquests at  This year they came out with a book of poetry written by members on tudiabetes, it follows the diagnosis and hardships as well as the good times that can follow (buy the book here And last but not least their BIG BLUE TEST( which encourages everybody around the world to check their sugar and post the results, also this year everybody who watched the video Roche Diabetes Care donated money that DHF used to give to Internation Diabetes Federation and Insulin For LIfe, two organizations that give diabetic medical supplies and insulin to children in poor countries. As of today over 100,000 will be donated!

Also visit the social network, there going to have a cruise!! Here's their mission statement, which i love, "Diabetes isn't a death sentence--Life is a death sentence. Stop with the excuses: Start living, or start dying, the choice is yours."

My friend just started a social network to at called Bat Rough Diabetics, it's for everybody though :) Also props to another friends site, their name is "1 Disease! World! Voice!" help them get million members!

Most important site that has helped thus far though is Partnership for Prescription, a assitance program that helps determine your elgibitly for possible free medicine for the big companies. Lilly Cares makers of Humalog and Sanofi Aventis makers of Lantus have programs as well on their websites. ( and Also don't forget alot of the major companies involed with meters give away free meters, and you can always visit a diabetes educator for more help and possible free test strips (

Here are some super cool diabetes blogs i frequent:,,,,

and a big thanks to the official website of world diabetes day where you can find information about why it started as well as pictures, stories, and videos about today at

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Nov 9, D-blog Day!

This month is the official month for diabetes, i'm not sure why November was picked but i do know that November 14 is World Diabetes Day, and the symbol for that is a blue circle. There will be lots of info going around, contests like stop diabetes at, buildings turning blue, blood sugars being tested (visit, and most important of all beach body and the american daibetes association are working together to stop diabetes.

Today I will be participating Diabetes-blog day!
What are 6 things you want people to know about you having diabetes?

1. Just because i have diabetes doesn't mean i can't eat sweets, just so you know i actually love sweets and i can have them, yes me! I just choose not to have them as much as i can because i know it's not good for me, buy hey wait again there not good for you either huh? I won't starve myself, but i will practice self control when i can. Which leads to number two...

2. If i mess up don't point it out, i'm only human and i'm not always going to at the top of my game. Wouldn't you agree it gets boring being perfect all the time? Sometimes that's how i feel about diabetes, i get tired of checking, i get tired of figuring out healthy edible stuff to eat, i get tired of worry about diabetes. So when i slip up i usually know it, but please keep your comment to yourself because when you slip up i never say anything.

3. If your scared of needles or you hate the thought of needles, please be a little bit more sympathetic to me at least. When you say you would rather die then have a shot, i hope your exaggerating because i know for a fact if it depend on your life you would do it, it would be hard but you would do it. Pain is part of life, but needle technology has gone a long way and they are alot thinner and smaller then you think.

4. Thank you for the diet tips but you have to realize that not all diet tips work for me, and i'm not referring to my diabetes, i'm referring to how I AM with MY diabetes and MY BODY. It's okay to give me some ideas, but don't give me the "you HAVE TO do this line.".Everybody is different, no one person is the same, so just like you i have to find what works for me.

5. Diabetes is a lot harder then you think, sometimes people don't understand why it's so hard when all you have to do is take your medicine. Well breaking news it's alot more work then taking your insulin, it's constant testing and moderating  with changes happening all the time from stress to exercise. I can't just do A + B and get result C. I wish it worked like that but every day is different and figuring out my sugars is more like the math problem in school that gave you headache, because sometimes no matter what numbers i plug in i still don't get the answer i want.

6. I don't want pity and i don't want sympathy, but you know sometimes lending a ear or hugging a diabetic can go long way. It would be nice to be able to lament my troubles to somebody without them thinking i'm going over board with one bad day. If your going to help a diabetic just listen to them and just offer them this one piece of advice, tomorrow is another day to star anew. Don't judge them and don't tell them what to do, just be a friend, sit back, relax, and don't be afraid to ask questions about diabetes.

Also help With each view until Nov-14 a child with diabetes in need gets insulin. Help us get to 100,000 view, the video is on

Monday, November 8, 2010

Rockin Body

Whew I am on day 5 of Rockin' Body by Shaun T! I'm kind of mixing it up but i'm trying to stick to the schedule as much as i can! I'm loving the dance movies, and i am by no way a dance person i don't go kick it at the club or anything like that... BUT i do know that dancing makes it feel like your not working out!!! And with these hip hop club moves i am definitely burning calories and sweating like crazy. I love it so much that it's now my instant mood lifter and helps get my day going. Because it works you hard you feel like your having fun instead! I am all over my living room having my own personal party :) I also like the background ont he dvd, shaun and his dancers are on a stage dancing to a live audience so it's like your on stage. I know all this dancing is great stress reliever and my sugars are always awesome if i do a workout like this! I would recommend this anybody who just wants to let loose and have fun, if you hate exercise then you have nothing to worry about because this is a great workout. The above picture is me after a rockin body workout, it may not be insanity but i was sweating like crazy!

here's link to the video for you to check out:

Sunday, November 7, 2010



to tired for meds
just want sleep,energy, and
normalness for once

thank god for small things
I mean like sweets and naps and

brush yo teeth

Okay today was a very good day away from home today! I got to chill with my coach and a friend, did some brazil butt lift. It has moves i think i've never done before or even considered to for my "bum bum." Brazil butt lift is taught by Leandro Carvalho, the coach to the victoria secret models!! I won't be walking on the run ways anytime soon but i know it's important to keep certain body parts in shape!! His accent will keep you going as he tells you "don't settle for less" and you find your self doing some salsa, hip swaying, booty lifting moves. It's kind of a back to the basics of exercise, like floor moves, but with some new twist. Maybe one day my booty will pass the pencil test!!!

I've been thinking alot about motivation and human desire to make choices that can be either good or bad. As a diabetic i feel like failure is always around the corner, and even though failure can be a learning experience it's not a great one to feel physically in your numbers. That's why it's so important to start each day is new, but hey even that's hard for you normals out there.

I feel i don't have much of choice on what i eat because of my diabetes, but wait a second that's not true.... because couple months ago i was making the bad decisions, eating unhealthy, and consciouly making that decision to do so! I made a decision/choice to change and now that thinking that i don't have a choice because of my diabetes is more like " i choose not to eat this or that because i know i have diabetes and i want to live longer/feel good today"

Granted diabetes isn't like something you can just fix in a day, and nothing in life is like that. It's really easy not to do what your suppose to do with diabetes or your heatlh because nothing happens... right away. Complications never bothered me because i got to eat burger king and make my stomache happy in a second without much thought! Diabetes is full of baby steps, so many i hate them really. I mean it used to be a chore, and can still be one, to just even check my sugar. You have no idea how much i would love to just run free all day exercising like a manic, eating pizza, staying up late, not sleeping, to sleeping all day long! But i can't and won't because i have to be in the best shape sugar wise to just to do something as simple as exercise for a half hour.

These baby steps are the same ones everybody has to do just to start a new goal in life, and making them stick like glue or stick like your daily routine of brushing your teeth can be just as exciting as putting on your clothes in the morning. But i'm proof that even the simple stupid testing of the sugars and taking my insulin, made dramatic changes in my apperance, my attitude, and my passion for life.

I like to compare it to a big gaping black hole, when your sugars aren't good for years like mine was (seriously think rollar coaster with lots of steep hills and terrifying plunges) then it's really hard to find self worth or even a reason to get up everyday. It was to the point where feeling tired, depressed, just down right horrible was NORMAL for me. Nobody should find struggle NORMAL, nobody should find depression and self hate NORMAL, nobody should find themself with a1cs of 12 and 13. You konw what's so shocking about this all, is that i knew this wasn't normal but i did it anyway... because it became easier not to do, yes it was easier to just let myself shrink away becuse i didn't care anymore so why fight why resist al lthe delicious food that could make my sugars sky rocket , why care if they burned my insides up.

Now i didn't feel like this all the time, but this where the hole analogy is so important, because even though i might have been smart enough to now better or even have had a good week or two of sugars the black hole kept sucking me down. One important reason that hole kept on sucking me down is becuse i didn't see resulrts like i wanted. Everybody wants results NOW, we want money NOW, we want to lose weight now! Well believe me when i say i wanted good sugars NOW NOW NOW.

That is the other reason i never tried to keep good blood sugars for very long, because how it felt trying to be normal actually didn't feel to great. My body went into battle mode trying to fight me on normalizing my blood sugars and it felt awful just to be in normal "blood sugars." I would feel so awful it felt like i was doing something worse when i tried to get normal blood sugars, Its like my body hated what i was doing to it! Why would something so good feel so bad? Because my body didn't like changes i was making, i was redefining normal and my body was just begging for the easy way out again.(easy to do was putting myself into this mess to begin with, easy not to do was never taking care of myself) But i had to reteach my body, and it took a couple weeks, some times i had good days and some yes were bad. I did alot of mundane boring stuff, that now is routine for me, checking my sugar and taking my medicine is normal now. Sometimes i do want to resist and sometimes i will resisit, but i find myself still being drawn to checking and taking insulin. Which is such a big leap from where i was before, far away from the big black hole.

They say that a diabetic can do anything (as good as you norms out there), but what they don't tell you is that diabetic can't do jack shit if their sugars are messed up. You might be wondering where did i get the motivation to do this? I'm sorry but sometimes "future" life with complications is just not enough, kind a goes back to that "NOW" mentality. I guess i got tired of being sick of tired. This is a path i have desperately tried to go down many times, but just felt like i could not do it i guess (stupid black hole) also part of me kind liked the easy way of life where i could PRETEND to act normal. I was always conscious that what i was doing was horrible i just couldn't bring myself to care. Think i just felt like it was time to DO IT, i got sick of my excuses and sick of not using the free tools around me, i had things i wanted to do but felt like i couldn't do. But if you must know the real reason it was two things

1. I got a job, and i thought i could wing it being my bad diabetic self, i also thought i could fix myself while working (some reason i think a schedule will cure all my problems, well it doesn't). I felt awful at work, i drank water like you wouldn't believe, i forgot the most simplist stuff, i had trouble concentrating on what they asked me to do, i constantly doubted my abilities and  said sorry more times then i can remember, also food didn't help my diet. Everything about what sucked before, now sucked at work,what sucked at work came home with me made things worse, then the same thing the next day and the next. I felt like i had less time to be diabetc, and you konw what i did b3cause all my energy went into getting though work everyday equaling wasted energy and even MORE lack of energy to do much else. I hated working and i felt so bad because i did want to do a good job i did want to make money! So i decided to quit.

2. Another reason i got motivated was because my doc said she could take my license away.... and no way in hell was that going to happen, that's how i get around!!! So all in all i decided, well if i want to work i need good blood sugar, if i want to drive i need good blood sugar, Dman't i just need to do it. ANd i guess i changing my attitude/behavior/approach towards my blood sugars i  was able to start living the life i was meant to live.

I am still a work in process, and i have to make sure i don't fall into the black amiss of the diabetes hole with worry or negativity.

My sugars dictate my life, but it's only because i'm still noob i'm still trying to figure out what makes me go high and what makes me go low. Diabetes is along road of learning and then relearning, what you ask? oh gosh let's not even get into that. Let's just say everyday is never the same, and sometimes i can have a bad sugar day even when i do everything right. Everyday is truly starting over and i don't mean cleaning the slate i mean starting over by letting go of yesterday not worrying about the future and just staying focus on the present. And God please forgive me because i hate baby steps and i love easy way outs, but i have alot of little steps to do, and alot of hardships to stumble through but you don't get to the top of the success ladder by sitting on the coach. :D:D

Just so you know i do think being a beachbody couch is keeping me accountable, because there is one thing i've always wanted to do and that is work out. But there are alot of myths about insulin and diabetics trying to lose weight. I still have to battle with exercise and how TOO WELL it works on my sugars but since my mood has improved i have taken the desire to exercise more seriously and now do it everyday. And with beachbody products i can't get enough of their fitness dvds, and i'm loving working out with my new friends and meeting new people to work out with, and i hope to share the products with other people so they can find it in themselves to be the best that they can be.(and then realize it was in them to do it along, they just needed pointed in the right direction). Also learning the business side has be quite interesting, i'm becoming more adventurous in talking to people about it and comes so naturally because the products are so relatable and usable!

Don't worry i haven't been brain washed (they don't call it crackology for nothin), i just think we all want to be healthy so when something works we need to pass along the good beachbody word. (lol). Remember to human is error, so nobodys perfect, i'm stil me just a more healthier fitness wanna be eat right version now with bad ass tattoos to match the attitude.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

fit club wednesday

[tuesday and wednesdays at 6 pm at Rancho Bernardo, and Wednesday at 6:30 pm in Oceanside, must sign up on]
I have been so busy busy this week, i have YET to look at my notes from the game plan event in bakersfield (from this weekend). I have definetly been slacking, but it's all for reason (not a excuse). Kind of been stressed last couple days, also had to clean the house for a inspection (which they never came), so i think i partied myself out from this weekend. Also i have been trying to work out alot, and it just makes me tired to work out i feel like i need more sleep then usual especially after tough workout!!

Sugar wise i am doing okay, not writing the sugars done but at least i'm taking my medicine, but today my omnipod decided not to work so i've been high all days (yes kiddies HIGH. (like 300), also found out i ran out of insulin after pod oculison-ed on me (stopped working basically). I'm on levemir now, diabetes is comparable to throwing a dart in the dark, you never know what number you will get or what kind of day you will have. Friday i'll start pumping again (thanks to arlene for helping me from sticky adhesive at cvs!! It is very stick indeed). Must admit it's nice to take a break from the omni pod pump, i don't have to worry about where i put it for exercise, but then i feel like i'm driving blind because i'm not used to mdi (multiple daily injections).

Eating!! Well i have been being a good girl i think, eating turkey sandwichs throwing whatever greens i can on it, blueberry oatmeal(only oatmeal i will now even dare try to eat), almond milk, salad, anything healthy i try to find my way to it. Now i have been drinking Shakeology Chocoalte the last couple days and i'm really starting to get used to the taste. I'm okay drinking it if all i add is water, but i will say it's best when you do mix it up with ice and a banana. I AM having trouble filling full, and most likely that's just me, so i'm going to try and introduce some protein. (i have been having trouble eating breakfast in the morning for a while now, before shaekology, i have trouble feeling full even though my stomach is full, it's like my brain needs something more like more protein i guess...). I will say that i think shakeology is helping with my cravings, i mean i think it's really combo of it all :exercise, eating right, keeping good sugars.... I mean i won't lie i would love curly fries or nice big juicy greasy burger, but i have to "pick my Posion" when it comes to my sugars, don't want to waste insulin on something that isn't going to benefit my body or have mucho carbs fat slow me down for a workout. I will admit i bought some twix bars :), but i'm actually really good about not eating them all at once (once again it goes back to the sugars, eating the whole bag will make me feel physically awful and have me shoting up more insulin later). I am going to keep on drinking shakeology, it taste awesome, and it definitely gives me a boost, can't wait to see where i am after a month of drinking it :).

Workouts of the week: monday turbo kick (which kicked my butt), tuesday Insanity (which was insane) and then today revabs(which i did well at, must be all that insanity :).

I know you guys don't know to much about me, but month ago i was running high all the time, staying up late till 4 am to 8 am in the morning (or sometimes just staying up period), and sleeping over 12 hours a day. I know diabetes depressed me and put me in dark super-massive black hole, but i found my way out and the good sugars keep me going every day. But i must also say thanks to Beachbody for giving me some great new friends and workout buddies, for giving me a little purpose, and for helping me be accountable for my fitness. I now go to sleep at 1 o clock now, still working on the waking up early part (no a morning person), i check my sugars and take my medicine. It's big change from where i have been the last couple of years, so thanks beachbody, thanks shakeology and coach Arlene!! Things may not be perfect in my life, but at least i'm laying down the foundation for a better healthier, complication free me.