Things I would like to note on my vacation:
Sitting in a bookstore, sipping coffee, and reading diabetic books is the only way to go because out of all those books i found only one that i would actually buy. The others are only helpful if you are brand spanking new diabetic, and most of the info you can find from the internet, on this site, or free diabetic education hand outs.
I love purses and shoes, they will always fit!!
I love the show man vs. food, it makes me want to eat jalapenos.
two bite brownies are dangerously delicious
i think i am okay not living in the city, to many people and lot of them not friendly
i think that no matter how old i am i will always love skulls and roses, and i'll probably never own a a dress, makeup, or highheels. I live by the rule of thumb that you should dress comfortably.
I saw one of our very own in the diabetes forecaste, it was the best part of the magazine to see our Hungary ambassador kristen and tudiabetes mentioned!
Shrimp rules all
katamari is the hardest funniest game ever
i just watched day of the dead, i am now wary of a zombie attack
wavesense rocks my world!
i love the marines, only because my hubby is one!
xmas is a time for watching movies and playing video games, as well as eating good food.
i better get started on that!!
of sorts
Thursday, December 24, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
haiku story
I wrote a haiku
because i love candy so
high sugars be damned
cocoa bath is good
gummie worms, bears, centipides
in my tummy now
this is just a dream
diabetics dream sometimes
no food is off limits (hahahaha yeah right)
dreaming while low
i yearn double chocolate
cookies fix my low
Suddenly i wake
no crumbs or evidence here
must find real food now
So hard to keep up
high, low, sugar, stress, tired
my brain will explode
Check inject eat right
the diabetic wonder
Wants cookies right now
What a silly blog
diabetic crazy chick
going to sleep now
because i love candy so
high sugars be damned
cocoa bath is good
gummie worms, bears, centipides
in my tummy now
this is just a dream
diabetics dream sometimes
no food is off limits (hahahaha yeah right)
dreaming while low
i yearn double chocolate
cookies fix my low
Suddenly i wake
no crumbs or evidence here
must find real food now
So hard to keep up
high, low, sugar, stress, tired
my brain will explode
Check inject eat right
the diabetic wonder
Wants cookies right now
What a silly blog
diabetic crazy chick
going to sleep now
Thursday, September 17, 2009
illness survey
1. The illness I live with is: Type I diabetes
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2007
3. But I had symptoms since: past six months, maybe more :o
4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: watching and figuring out what to eat, and making myself check my sugar and eat on time
5. Most people assume: i can't eat sugar
6. The hardest part about mornings are: figuring out what to eat and figuring out how much energy i have to make a meal
7. My favorite medical TV show is: scrubs and House (sometimes)
8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: my cell phone or laptop
9. The hardest part about nights are: is turning off the tv to go to bed
10. Each day I take: insulin and some other stuff
11. Regarding alternative treatments: find it interesting....
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: none of thee above
13. Regarding working and career: want to have a job that allows me to check my sugar and treat a low
14. People would be surprised to know: i reuse needles HA and i love diabetic humor jokes, especially chuck norris
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: the balance of living a life with no regrets, but the kind that doesn't hurt my freedom to be me and hurt my over all health to be free
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: eat candy and junk food
17. The commercials about my illness: soooo cheesy, but fun to life at
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: overindulging in chips and salsa or my fave candy, and not worrying about not feeling good as i go about my day (i go back and forth sometime)
19. It was really hard to have to give up: mountain dew and double choco cookies and blizzards
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: very knowledgeable about diabetes
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: eat what i want, exerise hard, and sleep in
22. My illness has taught me: life sucks and that sometimes you can't be "the perfect" diabetic
23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is:telling me what i should and shouldn't do, i'll do what i damn well please be it good or bad.
24. But I love it when people: offer me sugary food even though they know i'm diabetic, or when they insist that there food is diabetic friendly and it really a) taste bad b) isn't really friendly c) is very very bad (aka goood)
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: God will not allow anything to come into your life that you cannot handle.
26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: read everything in site, question everything, and figure out what works for you and only you
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: how expensive the disease really is
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: my friend took his mothers bday present of a bear holding a gift and he wrote insulin on the gift, and then gave it to me.
29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: i didn't know i was involved... i guess i am without knowing it, it's like i'm invisible to the fact that i'm invisible to it. hahahaa
2. I was diagnosed with it in the year: 2007
3. But I had symptoms since: past six months, maybe more :o
4. The biggest adjustment I've had to make is: watching and figuring out what to eat, and making myself check my sugar and eat on time
5. Most people assume: i can't eat sugar
6. The hardest part about mornings are: figuring out what to eat and figuring out how much energy i have to make a meal
7. My favorite medical TV show is: scrubs and House (sometimes)
8. A gadget I couldn't live without is: my cell phone or laptop
9. The hardest part about nights are: is turning off the tv to go to bed
10. Each day I take: insulin and some other stuff
11. Regarding alternative treatments: find it interesting....
12. If I had to choose between an invisible illness or visible I would choose: none of thee above
13. Regarding working and career: want to have a job that allows me to check my sugar and treat a low
14. People would be surprised to know: i reuse needles HA and i love diabetic humor jokes, especially chuck norris
15. The hardest thing to accept about my new reality has been: the balance of living a life with no regrets, but the kind that doesn't hurt my freedom to be me and hurt my over all health to be free
16. Something I never thought I could do with my illness that I did was: eat candy and junk food
17. The commercials about my illness: soooo cheesy, but fun to life at
18. Something I really miss doing since I was diagnosed is: overindulging in chips and salsa or my fave candy, and not worrying about not feeling good as i go about my day (i go back and forth sometime)
19. It was really hard to have to give up: mountain dew and double choco cookies and blizzards
20. A new hobby I have taken up since my diagnosis is: very knowledgeable about diabetes
21. If I could have one day of feeling normal again I would: eat what i want, exerise hard, and sleep in
22. My illness has taught me: life sucks and that sometimes you can't be "the perfect" diabetic
23. One thing people say that gets under my skin is:telling me what i should and shouldn't do, i'll do what i damn well please be it good or bad.
24. But I love it when people: offer me sugary food even though they know i'm diabetic, or when they insist that there food is diabetic friendly and it really a) taste bad b) isn't really friendly c) is very very bad (aka goood)
25. My favorite motto, scripture, quote that gets me through tough times is: God will not allow anything to come into your life that you cannot handle.
26. When someone is diagnosed I'd like to tell them: read everything in site, question everything, and figure out what works for you and only you
27. Something that has surprised me about living with an illness is: how expensive the disease really is
28. The nicest thing someone did for me when I wasn't feeling well was: my friend took his mothers bday present of a bear holding a gift and he wrote insulin on the gift, and then gave it to me.
29. I'm involved with Invisible Illness Week because: i didn't know i was involved... i guess i am without knowing it, it's like i'm invisible to the fact that i'm invisible to it. hahahaa
Sunday, August 23, 2009
hey!
will somebody come to my house check my sugar, make me some food, and make me take some medicine. I haven't been acting diabetic for the last couple months... i think i forgot how to!
In other words i'm NOT looking forward to "making" myself start a routine/schedule or picking out food to eat
In other words i'm NOT looking forward to "making" myself start a routine/schedule or picking out food to eat
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Why
Why do you think diabetics decide to not take care of themselves or why do you think diabetics decide not to handle their blood sugar?
Being a diabetic is very hard, not acting like a diabetic is hard to, especially on your body
though a persons goal is to keep good control, a person also doesn't want to be tied down
It's really hard to be spontaneous when following a mundane schedule
When we have control of our blood sugar we have control of our diabetes, but we also have to deal with the confusing upkeep
when we choose not to take our medicine, count or carbs, or check our sugar we are trying to regain control of our life
(a life outside of the disease)
I find myself going back and forth from good control to bad control, because i want to have it all.
I want to be able to do whatever i want, and i don't want my sugar keeping me back
but if i don't do what i'm suppose to then i won't have the energy to accomplish what i need and dream to do
I want the great control, but i want the freedom to
by ignoring it, it doesn't exist
by acknowledging it we place boundaries and restrictions
but what about all the potential complications??
I believe diabetics yo yo so much because emotionally it's the only way we know to handle the disease, despite the end result
we know we're hurting ourselves, but if we can't handle it emotionally then we will never be able to handle the physical reality of it
it's the only way we don't go crazy
denail, anger, guilt, ashamed balanced with freedom, control, health, happiness
I think the answer to stop the yo yo effect is to find a balance between living your life and controlling your diabetes
Now that's the real challenge
keeping things fresh and living your life without limitations while not letting the diabetes get you down or control your life
but the enigma is
you have to remember that if you don't control you diabetes it will be hard to live that life without complications to your freedom
Being a diabetic is very hard, not acting like a diabetic is hard to, especially on your body
though a persons goal is to keep good control, a person also doesn't want to be tied down
It's really hard to be spontaneous when following a mundane schedule
When we have control of our blood sugar we have control of our diabetes, but we also have to deal with the confusing upkeep
when we choose not to take our medicine, count or carbs, or check our sugar we are trying to regain control of our life
(a life outside of the disease)
I find myself going back and forth from good control to bad control, because i want to have it all.
I want to be able to do whatever i want, and i don't want my sugar keeping me back
but if i don't do what i'm suppose to then i won't have the energy to accomplish what i need and dream to do
I want the great control, but i want the freedom to
by ignoring it, it doesn't exist
by acknowledging it we place boundaries and restrictions
but what about all the potential complications??
I believe diabetics yo yo so much because emotionally it's the only way we know to handle the disease, despite the end result
we know we're hurting ourselves, but if we can't handle it emotionally then we will never be able to handle the physical reality of it
it's the only way we don't go crazy
denail, anger, guilt, ashamed balanced with freedom, control, health, happiness
I think the answer to stop the yo yo effect is to find a balance between living your life and controlling your diabetes
Now that's the real challenge
keeping things fresh and living your life without limitations while not letting the diabetes get you down or control your life
but the enigma is
you have to remember that if you don't control you diabetes it will be hard to live that life without complications to your freedom
Friday, April 24, 2009
(Dia-game) Pack and Marlon
Released in 1995 on SNES, game cost 69.95
geared towards children with type 1, produced by the same people who did Cap. Novolin
Packy & Marlon is supported by Roche Diagnostics, makers of Accu-Chek(tm) products.
RODENTS have raided camp Camp Wakee, and these two cute elephants must gather all there scattered supplies and fend off the rats
fight gorillas, punching kangaroos, octopus, blowfish, a ghost and his little ghosts, and then beat the king rat (no idea how it ends, couldn't find much info)
logbooks,carb exchanges, multiple shots, and bgs carrying over each level! oh my
smash the rats, spit peanuts and water at them, collect food to keep sugar good, stay away from bad food, and for gods sake don't eat bad food because you'll pass out and die like cap novolin. {{game over}}
similar to Cap Novolin, you have to check your sugar, draw up your insulin, answer questions about diabetes from the owl and read facts
What I like.. This game saves lives because there was a 77 percent reduction in unscheduled urgent care visits for kids in a six month placebo controlled clinical trial AND 31 children played the game for 34 hours in the six month trial which was the same as the 28 patients who played the placebo video game. I didn't know placebos saved so many...question is which game was more fun the placebo or the real game.
Honestly the elephants are cute, they flap their ears like dumbo to fly, the controls are easier, the graphics are better
What i don't like the usual unfun educational gameplay. But this game was kinda cute, i dare say. Way better then Cap Novolin
articles and such:
alot of bad reviews on the game http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=Packy+and+Marlon&aq=f
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Packy_and_Marlon\
18 grueling levels ugh http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/packy-marlon.php
Clickhealth site doesn't work http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_1998_Oct_12/ai_53074401/
dying of lung cancer ? play SNES Rex Ronan http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Ronan
have asthma? play Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus only avaliable by prescription http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronkie_the_Bronchiasaurus
geared towards children with type 1, produced by the same people who did Cap. Novolin
Packy & Marlon is supported by Roche Diagnostics, makers of Accu-Chek(tm) products.
RODENTS have raided camp Camp Wakee, and these two cute elephants must gather all there scattered supplies and fend off the rats
fight gorillas, punching kangaroos, octopus, blowfish, a ghost and his little ghosts, and then beat the king rat (no idea how it ends, couldn't find much info)
logbooks,carb exchanges, multiple shots, and bgs carrying over each level! oh my
smash the rats, spit peanuts and water at them, collect food to keep sugar good, stay away from bad food, and for gods sake don't eat bad food because you'll pass out and die like cap novolin. {{game over}}
similar to Cap Novolin, you have to check your sugar, draw up your insulin, answer questions about diabetes from the owl and read facts
What I like.. This game saves lives because there was a 77 percent reduction in unscheduled urgent care visits for kids in a six month placebo controlled clinical trial AND 31 children played the game for 34 hours in the six month trial which was the same as the 28 patients who played the placebo video game. I didn't know placebos saved so many...question is which game was more fun the placebo or the real game.
Honestly the elephants are cute, they flap their ears like dumbo to fly, the controls are easier, the graphics are better
What i don't like the usual unfun educational gameplay. But this game was kinda cute, i dare say. Way better then Cap Novolin
articles and such:
alot of bad reviews on the game http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=Packy+and+Marlon&aq=f
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Packy_and_Marlon\
18 grueling levels ugh http://www.somethingawful.com/d/rom-pit/packy-marlon.php
Clickhealth site doesn't work http://findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0EIN/is_1998_Oct_12/ai_53074401/
dying of lung cancer ? play SNES Rex Ronan http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rex_Ronan
have asthma? play Bronkie the Bronchiasaurus only avaliable by prescription http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bronkie_the_Bronchiasaurus
Thursday, April 23, 2009
(Dia-game) Capitan Novolin
This game is so weird i almost don't want to get in to it... This is what Magi and the sleeping star SHOULDN'T be.
This game was released in 1992 on SNES, retail 60 bucks
This game was sponsored by Novo Nordisk, makers of Novolin brand insulin.
Captain Novolin has to save the mayor who has been abducted by aliens. The mayor is slowing running out of supplies!
The aliens have turned into sugary foods like cookies and doughnuts, with predictable jumping patters.
Pregame you must listen to a "doctors" advice, match your sugar level to the colors, and use a very large needle to get your right dose. (holding down and pressing A fast will get to the game faster)
Captain Novolin must stomp, jump backwards, or duck his enemies, collect diabetic tips, answer some questions, and pick the right food that your doc recommended before the level.
The Mayor sugar is 30, do you give him cheese and crackers or a glucagon shot!! LOL
you have to input a 3 digit code in the beginning, i hope this doesn't mean the game will try to dosage your insulin
What I like... seriously i can't pick one, but i heard he makes some horrible noises when he falls and when he eats to much he falls down and dies or passes out. Also it was endorsed by Mary Taylor Moore, poor kids.
articles:
Will smith and Joan Rivers and I got killed by a cookie! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igAb2BXVIAw I
7 people made this game... watch this video for the rest of this sentence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flQu-MrcSE0
60 bucks!! http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/1992/12/01/42/captain-novolin/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Novolin
that means that for every diabetic life it saved, it killed that many epileptics http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/egm04.htm
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=speed+run+Captain+Novolin&aq=f
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H580n3fbk60
This game was released in 1992 on SNES, retail 60 bucks
This game was sponsored by Novo Nordisk, makers of Novolin brand insulin.
Captain Novolin has to save the mayor who has been abducted by aliens. The mayor is slowing running out of supplies!
The aliens have turned into sugary foods like cookies and doughnuts, with predictable jumping patters.
Pregame you must listen to a "doctors" advice, match your sugar level to the colors, and use a very large needle to get your right dose. (holding down and pressing A fast will get to the game faster)
Captain Novolin must stomp, jump backwards, or duck his enemies, collect diabetic tips, answer some questions, and pick the right food that your doc recommended before the level.
The Mayor sugar is 30, do you give him cheese and crackers or a glucagon shot!! LOL
you have to input a 3 digit code in the beginning, i hope this doesn't mean the game will try to dosage your insulin
What I like... seriously i can't pick one, but i heard he makes some horrible noises when he falls and when he eats to much he falls down and dies or passes out. Also it was endorsed by Mary Taylor Moore, poor kids.
articles:
Will smith and Joan Rivers and I got killed by a cookie! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igAb2BXVIAw I
7 people made this game... watch this video for the rest of this sentence http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flQu-MrcSE0
60 bucks!! http://www.diabeteshealth.com/read/1992/12/01/42/captain-novolin/
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Captain_Novolin
that means that for every diabetic life it saved, it killed that many epileptics http://www.seanbaby.com/nes/egm04.htm
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_type=&search_query=speed+run+Captain+Novolin&aq=f
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H580n3fbk60
(Dia-game) Magi and the Sleeping Star
Here's a new game from Gamequalslife called The Magi and the Sleeping Star, it's about an 3rd person action adventure where a boy with magical ablities has to go save his family and beat the bad guys. BUT he has type 1 diabetes and his skills will be effected by his blood sugar, hey just like real life when i try to beat bad guys. In the game you must make sure your character eats the right amount of food, takes his medicine, and keeps his sugar in right place.
What i like about the game is that the hero has diabetes, which goes to show that having diabetes isn't everything and it cannot define you when evil is afoot! It will be nice to have a fantasy role model, but will it work? The music and game play look like it could be fun, just like a regular game.
What i don't like is that the game will try and give us advice about diabetes and will make you figure out all the annoying diabetes stuff just so you can go to the next step. How is a kid suppose to sit through figuring out somebody elses carbs, insulin intake, and then to top it off game producers medical mumbo jumbo; when all he wants to do is play the damn game. Also i have a problem basing one's life solely on blood sugar levels, yes there important but you don't want to teach kids to agonize over them to the point of hyperventilation. It's hard enough being diabetic, why do we have to make a fantasy game even harder? It's called a fantasy for a reason, because nobody would want to be a superhero with diabetes.
Despite my negativty i do welcome the challenge of a company to make a succesful game about diabetes or a diabetic hero. All superheros have some flaw, why not the hardship of rollar coaster bloodsugars, picking carbs, injecting insulin, and checking ones bloodsugar. He'll go ahead and start the merchandise, i'm sure a i wouldn't mind a Magi meter or bandaids.
(hopefully it's more successful then when they made a magic game based on the bible)
articles:
http://www.gamecareerguide.com/industry_news/23309/game_equals_life_announces_.php
http://www.developmag.com/press-releases/46573/Game-Equals-Life-Announces-The-Magi-and-the-Sleeping-Starndash-A-Breakthrough-Health-Game-for-Type-1-Diabetes
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/91142-Save-The-World-While-Saving-Your-Insulin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQOfo_RwHCc
What i like about the game is that the hero has diabetes, which goes to show that having diabetes isn't everything and it cannot define you when evil is afoot! It will be nice to have a fantasy role model, but will it work? The music and game play look like it could be fun, just like a regular game.
What i don't like is that the game will try and give us advice about diabetes and will make you figure out all the annoying diabetes stuff just so you can go to the next step. How is a kid suppose to sit through figuring out somebody elses carbs, insulin intake, and then to top it off game producers medical mumbo jumbo; when all he wants to do is play the damn game. Also i have a problem basing one's life solely on blood sugar levels, yes there important but you don't want to teach kids to agonize over them to the point of hyperventilation. It's hard enough being diabetic, why do we have to make a fantasy game even harder? It's called a fantasy for a reason, because nobody would want to be a superhero with diabetes.
Despite my negativty i do welcome the challenge of a company to make a succesful game about diabetes or a diabetic hero. All superheros have some flaw, why not the hardship of rollar coaster bloodsugars, picking carbs, injecting insulin, and checking ones bloodsugar. He'll go ahead and start the merchandise, i'm sure a i wouldn't mind a Magi meter or bandaids.
(hopefully it's more successful then when they made a magic game based on the bible)
articles:
http://www.gamecareerguide.com/industry_news/23309/game_equals_life_announces_.php
http://www.developmag.com/press-releases/46573/Game-Equals-Life-Announces-The-Magi-and-the-Sleeping-Starndash-A-Breakthrough-Health-Game-for-Type-1-Diabetes
http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/91142-Save-The-World-While-Saving-Your-Insulin
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQOfo_RwHCc
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
i hate doctors
I hate doctors. Maybe i haven't found the right one but i think it's pretty expensive to go through doctors to just find the right one.
My medicine is free through LILLY CARES and SANOFI AVENTIS, (It's based on my income)
Insulin, you know the stuff that keeps me alive to begin with, kinda important
I went to the doctor to get her to help me enroll in the program and fax my prescription to them
I CALLED to remind them to do this, plus i had a A1C done and nobody called me on the results of that
I CALLED and left a message at the nurses station almost EVERYDAY, finally had to leave a message on whoever is in charge of their office
I was told to MAKE an appointment, and i did it because i was running low on medicine and wanted to do everything in my power to get them to FAX that prescription
I went to the appointment, was FINALLY told my a1c, and was told they were going to fax my stuff to L.C. and S.A t for me
THEY FINALLY DID IT, i even got some samples, because i told them once i run out of insulin i'm not taking anymore (just a threat, but seriously would have took me a while to afford it)
(special note: i have this weird phobia of not wanting to use or take medicine/diabetic supplies if i don't have money to get more, call me crazy, but i feel like i have some control of my supplies by not buying any)
MARCH 18 everything is sent to the said companies above, i get letter stating i was enrolled for Lantus, gotta re-enroll for Humalog in june.(my note)
TODAY IS APRIL 16, both LILLY CARES AND SAN.AVEN. told me the medicine arrived on MARCH 30th and March 20th
WHERE THE LKLQ@)#$RU$O$U$ IS MY MEDICINE THEN
OKay..... take break... breath... i just got a call back... from the "insert whatever horrible name." docs office
They said my name wasn't on the package... i can't believe that... and that they thought it was for them....................................................................................................................
They offered to give me some solar pens for the lantus, becasuse they gave most of the vials out 0.0! They have the humalog. They said i could use the pens with a syringe, just draw it up the same way (TRUE???)
reasons i hate doctors: billing offices, front desk offices, nurses, and yes i don't even like my doctor. She's to flighty or in a hurry with me. And i know i'm not helping by NOT having my sugars written down, but who's supposed to help me while i figure that out? These docs don't take house calls. I don't even like my doctor but i can't even get the simplest help, i mean i'm grateful for all the assistance i get, but for once i'd like them to respect the person who has the disease, especially when it comes to really important medicine.
I just love being diabetic, every day makes me want to be one even more *not sarcasm*
My medicine is free through LILLY CARES and SANOFI AVENTIS, (It's based on my income)
Insulin, you know the stuff that keeps me alive to begin with, kinda important
I went to the doctor to get her to help me enroll in the program and fax my prescription to them
I CALLED to remind them to do this, plus i had a A1C done and nobody called me on the results of that
I CALLED and left a message at the nurses station almost EVERYDAY, finally had to leave a message on whoever is in charge of their office
I was told to MAKE an appointment, and i did it because i was running low on medicine and wanted to do everything in my power to get them to FAX that prescription
I went to the appointment, was FINALLY told my a1c, and was told they were going to fax my stuff to L.C. and S.A t for me
THEY FINALLY DID IT, i even got some samples, because i told them once i run out of insulin i'm not taking anymore (just a threat, but seriously would have took me a while to afford it)
(special note: i have this weird phobia of not wanting to use or take medicine/diabetic supplies if i don't have money to get more, call me crazy, but i feel like i have some control of my supplies by not buying any)
MARCH 18 everything is sent to the said companies above, i get letter stating i was enrolled for Lantus, gotta re-enroll for Humalog in june.(my note)
TODAY IS APRIL 16, both LILLY CARES AND SAN.AVEN. told me the medicine arrived on MARCH 30th and March 20th
WHERE THE LKLQ@)#$RU$O$U$ IS MY MEDICINE THEN
OKay..... take break... breath... i just got a call back... from the "insert whatever horrible name." docs office
They said my name wasn't on the package... i can't believe that... and that they thought it was for them....................................................................................................................
They offered to give me some solar pens for the lantus, becasuse they gave most of the vials out 0.0! They have the humalog. They said i could use the pens with a syringe, just draw it up the same way (TRUE???)
reasons i hate doctors: billing offices, front desk offices, nurses, and yes i don't even like my doctor. She's to flighty or in a hurry with me. And i know i'm not helping by NOT having my sugars written down, but who's supposed to help me while i figure that out? These docs don't take house calls. I don't even like my doctor but i can't even get the simplest help, i mean i'm grateful for all the assistance i get, but for once i'd like them to respect the person who has the disease, especially when it comes to really important medicine.
I just love being diabetic, every day makes me want to be one even more *not sarcasm*
Saturday, April 11, 2009
my attempt at a diabetes poem
I'm feeling kinda weird, but part me believes this is normal
When you're on your feet all day working, your supposed to be tired
Tired when you wake up, tired in the afternoon, tired before you go to bed
Your supposed to be thirsty, drink water, and use the bathroom more
Even if it's every hour, and who cares if i drink soda to quench the thirst
I'm not feeling hungry, but i want to eat healthy, i'll eat some salad, or maybe nothing at all
I'm losing weight fast, but i don't really notice, must be all the water i'm downing
I go to the bar because i just turned 21, but after one drink i only crave one thing
water water water, add some mountain dew with grenadine, oh so yum
My friends want to stay out late, i just want to go to bed
My work wants me to come in, my energy is zapped even after a nap
My friend points out blankly that i might have diabetes, what's that??
I don't know what's wrong to me, i thought this was apart of growing up
Working hard, being tired, losing your self in the world around you
To the doc i went, she checked my sugar and said it was 500
The number meant nothing to me, must've been that moutain dew i darnk
she prescribed some pills, and shot me with some lantus
the prescription got tossed with the mail, i'll fill it when i have time
FINALLY A DAY OFF, i get to sleep in, horray! I deserve this day
Why is my mouth dry? When's the last time i ate? Why are my eyelids so heavy?
I can't breath, my chest feels heavy, i lay in bed just to fall back to sleep
My boyfriend freaks out and makes me hamburgers and salad
He read somewhere that carbs were bad, and so was sugar
The phone rings, but i'm in a another world, my frantic friend tells me to GO GO GO
To tired to fight, or worry about my lack of insurance, i go to the ER
Why do they call it a triage? There are no trees? My mouth is getting drier, it's actually peeling
The nurse asks me some questions, i honestly can't remember the rest,
I keep on falling asleep and waking back up, the nice nurse tells me to breath through my nose
It's to hard for me to do, can't i just go back to sleep, i cry?
They whisper around me, if she hadn't come sooner she would've died of DKA
I guess i have diabetes, whatever that is, but for right now i'm hooked up to this iv
When i finally do wake up, i feel safe in my hospital bed with the tv droning in the background
They said i can have as much jello as i want, but i gotta get my potassium up
The nurses laughter tinkles in the background, despite the painful pokes, i feel relaxed and safe.
I shoot an orange, i go to surgery for my MRSA, i drink grape flavored potassium, my friends visit, my work visits, diabetes educator comes, the billing department leaves me papers
The whole time i just kinda set in the background, innocent and naive to this whole diabetes thing. They leave me brochures for carb counting. I'm not really scared, maybe this is an early denial of some sorts but i actually think this is conquerable. Honestly i was glad to have answer to all the madness, it's time to live my life as a brand spanking new diabetic. If only i knew how hard it was really going to be. They kicked me out that hospital door, leaving me to feel even more alone then before.
When you're on your feet all day working, your supposed to be tired
Tired when you wake up, tired in the afternoon, tired before you go to bed
Your supposed to be thirsty, drink water, and use the bathroom more
Even if it's every hour, and who cares if i drink soda to quench the thirst
I'm not feeling hungry, but i want to eat healthy, i'll eat some salad, or maybe nothing at all
I'm losing weight fast, but i don't really notice, must be all the water i'm downing
I go to the bar because i just turned 21, but after one drink i only crave one thing
water water water, add some mountain dew with grenadine, oh so yum
My friends want to stay out late, i just want to go to bed
My work wants me to come in, my energy is zapped even after a nap
My friend points out blankly that i might have diabetes, what's that??
I don't know what's wrong to me, i thought this was apart of growing up
Working hard, being tired, losing your self in the world around you
To the doc i went, she checked my sugar and said it was 500
The number meant nothing to me, must've been that moutain dew i darnk
she prescribed some pills, and shot me with some lantus
the prescription got tossed with the mail, i'll fill it when i have time
FINALLY A DAY OFF, i get to sleep in, horray! I deserve this day
Why is my mouth dry? When's the last time i ate? Why are my eyelids so heavy?
I can't breath, my chest feels heavy, i lay in bed just to fall back to sleep
My boyfriend freaks out and makes me hamburgers and salad
He read somewhere that carbs were bad, and so was sugar
The phone rings, but i'm in a another world, my frantic friend tells me to GO GO GO
To tired to fight, or worry about my lack of insurance, i go to the ER
Why do they call it a triage? There are no trees? My mouth is getting drier, it's actually peeling
The nurse asks me some questions, i honestly can't remember the rest,
I keep on falling asleep and waking back up, the nice nurse tells me to breath through my nose
It's to hard for me to do, can't i just go back to sleep, i cry?
They whisper around me, if she hadn't come sooner she would've died of DKA
I guess i have diabetes, whatever that is, but for right now i'm hooked up to this iv
When i finally do wake up, i feel safe in my hospital bed with the tv droning in the background
They said i can have as much jello as i want, but i gotta get my potassium up
The nurses laughter tinkles in the background, despite the painful pokes, i feel relaxed and safe.
I shoot an orange, i go to surgery for my MRSA, i drink grape flavored potassium, my friends visit, my work visits, diabetes educator comes, the billing department leaves me papers
The whole time i just kinda set in the background, innocent and naive to this whole diabetes thing. They leave me brochures for carb counting. I'm not really scared, maybe this is an early denial of some sorts but i actually think this is conquerable. Honestly i was glad to have answer to all the madness, it's time to live my life as a brand spanking new diabetic. If only i knew how hard it was really going to be. They kicked me out that hospital door, leaving me to feel even more alone then before.
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Sunday, February 22, 2009
new doc now
I have a new doc now...let's see if this relationship lasts! Really i just needed a doc to help write out prescriptions so i can get free medicine through lilly cares(ha like she really does, that's humalog by the way) and Sanofi Aventis (Lantus). By the way i take shots. She did the usual doc stuff, i tried to tell her the problems i've been having (constant utis, high blood sugars, trip to er for skin infection, lovely stuff). She listened but she didn't really give me any advice, and it felt rush despite the fact i was there for 2 1/2 hour. I think it's because she wants to see my a1C, lipid, and thyroid test first. So i go back in a month. My blood has been drawn, i'm on a medication to help protect my kidneys from the high blood sugar and to help my cholesterol.. Till then i'm going to try keep track of my sugars. But there were 3 weird things that she said
1. That the sliding scale is fading out, like she didn't like it because all your doing is giving yourself more medicine.
Is the sliding scale really that bad?? I find that it helps, but then again my sugar has been all over the place.
2. The snacks that i choose aren't good. I said i eat 6x a day, i really can't wrap my brain around eating 6 smalls meals. So i eat 3 meals and a snack in between every three hours, and it seems to work. But she said my choice of a banana and a granola bar aren't good. My snacks have to be filling, i eat 50c per meal and 20-30 for a snack.
Should i add more protein?? What's some good snack ideas??
3. On my why out she said that she might change my medicine, but she didn't elaborate because she wants to see the test results. I'm not sure what else i could go on? Lantus and Humalog work for me
What could she want to change???( i know it's not answerable, but i worry because i don't have money for the medicine that i take)
Is there any advice out there for the next time i go to the doc? Any questions i should ask to make sure i'm on the right track with what she wants and of course what i think is best for me? Thanks!
1. That the sliding scale is fading out, like she didn't like it because all your doing is giving yourself more medicine.
Is the sliding scale really that bad?? I find that it helps, but then again my sugar has been all over the place.
2. The snacks that i choose aren't good. I said i eat 6x a day, i really can't wrap my brain around eating 6 smalls meals. So i eat 3 meals and a snack in between every three hours, and it seems to work. But she said my choice of a banana and a granola bar aren't good. My snacks have to be filling, i eat 50c per meal and 20-30 for a snack.
Should i add more protein?? What's some good snack ideas??
3. On my why out she said that she might change my medicine, but she didn't elaborate because she wants to see the test results. I'm not sure what else i could go on? Lantus and Humalog work for me
What could she want to change???( i know it's not answerable, but i worry because i don't have money for the medicine that i take)
Is there any advice out there for the next time i go to the doc? Any questions i should ask to make sure i'm on the right track with what she wants and of course what i think is best for me? Thanks!
Sunday, January 18, 2009
q and a
1. What were the circumstances that led to your initial diagnosis? What is your story? I was working as a waitress and started feeling tired all the time, then i started feel thirsty, then i went the bathroom almost every hour, i had constant yeast infections, i lost a lot of weight but didn't notice because i was exercising, and i had mrsa before being diagnosed. I didn't know anything was wrong with me because i thought this normal feeling because of all he hard work i was doing as a waitress (long days, stress). I went to my local Urgent care and told them my friend and I though i might have diabetes, they tested my sugar, gave me some pills, and that was that. I didn't take the pills because i really didn't know the seriousness of diabetes. Couple of days later i started feeling really sluggish, my mouth was dry to the point it was peeling, my breathing was shallow, and i slept all day. I didn't go to the doc because i didn't have insurance, my friends convinced me to go to the ER. I was to weak to argue. I think i passed out a couple times and when i woke up i was laying in a hospital bed hooked to IV's. They said i almost went into DKA and could have died if i hadn't come sooner.
2. How did you feel at first? Scared? Guilty? Ashamed? I felt sick for a long while. I was scared of eating and waring myself out. I didn't feel ashamed because i didn't do anything to cause my type 1 diabetes. It was kind of exciting at first, in a weird way, because it was an answer to why i was sick and there was a solution to fixing it! But i didn't realize how hard it would be.
3. What kind of education or instructions were you given once you were diagnosed with Type 1 DM and by whom? (Nurse, Dietitian, Doctor?) A Diabetes Educator visted me while i was in the hospital and gave me some literature. She told me that I would have to take shots, count my carbs, and number one starting rule was to cut cola. She said i could call her anytime. I think i was supposed to fellow up with my er doc but he had no openings. So i really didn't have any doctor guidance, just the diabetes educator.
4. What is your daily routine (monitoring, shots, etc) from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? I'm supposed to check my sugar before and after meals. Take three shots of humalog a day and a shot of Lantus at night. In between i monitor how i feel, and try to avoid hypoglycemia with snacks or juice (personally). I have to write down my carbs, the amount of insulin taken, and my sugars before and after meals. I try to every 3-4 hours, amongst my 3 meals and 3 snacks.
5. What are some situations that require you to change this routine? (Going out for drinks, traveling, work schedule, etc.) Since i work third shift I sometimes have to wake up early or stay up later from work so i can run errands for things open during the day. Sometimes i don't want to take my medicine and that changes everything and leads to me not testing or taking the right amount of insulin, this can effect me for days to months that i do this. Sometimes at work i have to postpone eating because my break is different, i could fight this if i wanted. But i hate to have my diabetes be a inconvenience to my work ethic.
6. What are you concerned most about regarding your health in the future? Losing eyesight, amputated leg, the usual horrors but these seem so far away that i don't really let it sink in my head that this could happen, could be because i'm still a new diabetic and I'm young (my body fights it better now). I worry about yeast infections and urinary tract infections.
7. How has living with Type 1 DM impacted your relationships with others (romantically, friendship, family, children, etc). Hasn't really impacted it in a bad way. It's something you either they have to accepct or they don't and you move on. But sometimes when you felling bad you might act out against loved ones. They might not have diabetes but they have somebody who has it, and that can make it just as hard for them to see you suffer.
8. How has insurance (and dealing with insurance companies) impacted your life, health and general outlook? I don't have insurance. The only insurance i had didn't include diabetes because i was "pre existing."
9. Anything else you'd like to share.
things i notice: misconceptions from others about what you can and cannot do (or eat). The doctors i've encountered don't have time for diabetes, and you will waste alot of money till you find a good one. Being diabetic is expensive, especially if you don't have insurance and have to pay hospital bills out of pocket. Because of that i'm sure alot of people avoid going to the doc or er, i do. Alot of diabetics deal with denial, guilt, and anger. Alot of new diabetics are told the basics and then let out in the real world with no raft. I try my best to do pay and get help for my supplies but i always find that bills not related to diabetes go ahead of everything else. I can't afford to be broke because i need good food, good medicine, and a good job to pay for it, But it's a bit like the snake eating itself when it comes to all that. Without food i can't take my medcine, without medicine i can't take shots for my food, without insurance i can't afford to see the doctor or get the supplies i need, without money i can't do anything.
2. How did you feel at first? Scared? Guilty? Ashamed? I felt sick for a long while. I was scared of eating and waring myself out. I didn't feel ashamed because i didn't do anything to cause my type 1 diabetes. It was kind of exciting at first, in a weird way, because it was an answer to why i was sick and there was a solution to fixing it! But i didn't realize how hard it would be.
3. What kind of education or instructions were you given once you were diagnosed with Type 1 DM and by whom? (Nurse, Dietitian, Doctor?) A Diabetes Educator visted me while i was in the hospital and gave me some literature. She told me that I would have to take shots, count my carbs, and number one starting rule was to cut cola. She said i could call her anytime. I think i was supposed to fellow up with my er doc but he had no openings. So i really didn't have any doctor guidance, just the diabetes educator.
4. What is your daily routine (monitoring, shots, etc) from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep? I'm supposed to check my sugar before and after meals. Take three shots of humalog a day and a shot of Lantus at night. In between i monitor how i feel, and try to avoid hypoglycemia with snacks or juice (personally). I have to write down my carbs, the amount of insulin taken, and my sugars before and after meals. I try to every 3-4 hours, amongst my 3 meals and 3 snacks.
5. What are some situations that require you to change this routine? (Going out for drinks, traveling, work schedule, etc.) Since i work third shift I sometimes have to wake up early or stay up later from work so i can run errands for things open during the day. Sometimes i don't want to take my medicine and that changes everything and leads to me not testing or taking the right amount of insulin, this can effect me for days to months that i do this. Sometimes at work i have to postpone eating because my break is different, i could fight this if i wanted. But i hate to have my diabetes be a inconvenience to my work ethic.
6. What are you concerned most about regarding your health in the future? Losing eyesight, amputated leg, the usual horrors but these seem so far away that i don't really let it sink in my head that this could happen, could be because i'm still a new diabetic and I'm young (my body fights it better now). I worry about yeast infections and urinary tract infections.
7. How has living with Type 1 DM impacted your relationships with others (romantically, friendship, family, children, etc). Hasn't really impacted it in a bad way. It's something you either they have to accepct or they don't and you move on. But sometimes when you felling bad you might act out against loved ones. They might not have diabetes but they have somebody who has it, and that can make it just as hard for them to see you suffer.
8. How has insurance (and dealing with insurance companies) impacted your life, health and general outlook? I don't have insurance. The only insurance i had didn't include diabetes because i was "pre existing."
9. Anything else you'd like to share.
things i notice: misconceptions from others about what you can and cannot do (or eat). The doctors i've encountered don't have time for diabetes, and you will waste alot of money till you find a good one. Being diabetic is expensive, especially if you don't have insurance and have to pay hospital bills out of pocket. Because of that i'm sure alot of people avoid going to the doc or er, i do. Alot of diabetics deal with denial, guilt, and anger. Alot of new diabetics are told the basics and then let out in the real world with no raft. I try my best to do pay and get help for my supplies but i always find that bills not related to diabetes go ahead of everything else. I can't afford to be broke because i need good food, good medicine, and a good job to pay for it, But it's a bit like the snake eating itself when it comes to all that. Without food i can't take my medcine, without medicine i can't take shots for my food, without insurance i can't afford to see the doctor or get the supplies i need, without money i can't do anything.
Thursday, January 1, 2009
dealing with diabetes in healthcare system
Submitted to these people who never emailed me back. Sorry i don't have cancer. But hey i do prolong death as much as possible. http://www.coveramericatour.org/index.html
My dealings with money and healthcare
I have been diagnosed with diabetes for one year. I knew something was wrong with me for a while but since I had no insurance, I didn't go to the doctor. The formula: hospital + doctor equaled to much for me to contemplate. Instead I went to Urgent Care, paid 25 bucks, the nurse tested my sugar, and my sugar was too high (damn you mountain dew!). Instead of recommending a doctor she prescribed me some pills. I came home and forgot about the little pills. Couple days later I had trouble sleeping, was thirsty, and couldn't walk around too much. The Hospital didn't register in my mind because I had no insurance or money. Fortunately I did go, they fixed me up, gave me the basics, I met the hospitals sliding scale papers and my 20,000 dollars bill was covered. (For some reason they kept me in ICU the whole time, which is why the bills is so high).
It's been a year and I have experienced things I never wanted or thought I’d worry about. I originally had help through the Diabetes Educator at my hospital, who said that the American Diabetes As. would help me but through her. I would regularly call her up to have her clear my medicine. There was numerous times when I would go to the pharmacy and she wouldn't have called it in it yet. I would be on the edge of tears when they would tell me the price of my medicine, then I would ask them to check to see if she cleared it, they would shake there heads and wait for me to make the next move. Feeling pitiful and stupid, I walked away. I had bigger bills to pay to be able to keep my standard of living; I couldn't afford my most basic need.
Obviously diabetes is last on the list for bills for me. I stopped going to my diabetes educator when she started telling me she had too many people wanting free medicine. (and when she started being cold towards me) I felt ashamed. As if I was some drugy hanging around his suppliers house just to see if they would give me a fix. There are many times I wanted to tell them: doctors, hospitals, billing, and pharmacy or people in general, that the only time they would care is if I was dying. It's as if I'm being punished, money wise, for wanting to take care of myself so that I don't end up in the hospital again.
My diabetes educator/supplier urged me to find a job with insurance, but being young and wanting to find a job I liked, got in the way. I don't attend or look forward to college anymore for the mere fact that I'm afraid of not being able to be financially "diabetic" But the worse feeling of all is worrying about the cost of diabetes. Worrying about the right insurance while you worry about even making it through your day at work. Looking for the cheapest brands in strips, meters, and even doctors. It seems like when you want to do right for herself you have cut corners to survive financially. I can’t afford to be broke in this economy, dammit I’m diabetic.
I recently went to the doctor and was stunned to find out I had to pay half up front or I wouldn't be able to see her. I already owed money before and assumed they would add it to my total, so I felt rejected. After the appointment I felt like I wasted my money, because the women told me 3 things that helped, equally out to 75 bucks, and she showed no interest in my sugar logs and complaints. I guess you have to spend some money on bad doctors before you get the right one. But how long will my diabetes suffer from having to wait for somebody to listen to me?
Why don't I have insurance? The same reason nobody else does: either the job won't give you enough hours to cover it or your diabetes won't be covered because you have been labeled "pre-existing." I'm to the point where I might actually consider denying insurance based on the fact that Lilly and Sanofo Aventis will cut my free medicine if I have insurance. So if I'm getting insurance, it better me damn good and right away. (update: should have go the damn insurance through my company, now I might get laid off. Fuck cobra)
In conclusion I feel that in able to be financially diabetic, you need to be able to cut corners. It's equivalent to the snake eating it's self. Meaning, I depend on medicine and food but what's the point in buying medicine if you can't buy food? Or having food but no medicine. This snake seems to reflect the rest of my life and it’s choices, from being a regular joe that works and pays his bills to being diabetic jane who has no energy to work as she stresses over bills, juggles being healthy, as she cuts corners in the diabetic department (doctors, meters, needles, meds). With all this weighing on our minds you can’t help but think you’re being punished for being diabetic.
Who really wins in the end, them? Or Us? Or can we outwit them in the end?
My dealings with money and healthcare
I have been diagnosed with diabetes for one year. I knew something was wrong with me for a while but since I had no insurance, I didn't go to the doctor. The formula: hospital + doctor equaled to much for me to contemplate. Instead I went to Urgent Care, paid 25 bucks, the nurse tested my sugar, and my sugar was too high (damn you mountain dew!). Instead of recommending a doctor she prescribed me some pills. I came home and forgot about the little pills. Couple days later I had trouble sleeping, was thirsty, and couldn't walk around too much. The Hospital didn't register in my mind because I had no insurance or money. Fortunately I did go, they fixed me up, gave me the basics, I met the hospitals sliding scale papers and my 20,000 dollars bill was covered. (For some reason they kept me in ICU the whole time, which is why the bills is so high).
It's been a year and I have experienced things I never wanted or thought I’d worry about. I originally had help through the Diabetes Educator at my hospital, who said that the American Diabetes As. would help me but through her. I would regularly call her up to have her clear my medicine. There was numerous times when I would go to the pharmacy and she wouldn't have called it in it yet. I would be on the edge of tears when they would tell me the price of my medicine, then I would ask them to check to see if she cleared it, they would shake there heads and wait for me to make the next move. Feeling pitiful and stupid, I walked away. I had bigger bills to pay to be able to keep my standard of living; I couldn't afford my most basic need.
Obviously diabetes is last on the list for bills for me. I stopped going to my diabetes educator when she started telling me she had too many people wanting free medicine. (and when she started being cold towards me) I felt ashamed. As if I was some drugy hanging around his suppliers house just to see if they would give me a fix. There are many times I wanted to tell them: doctors, hospitals, billing, and pharmacy or people in general, that the only time they would care is if I was dying. It's as if I'm being punished, money wise, for wanting to take care of myself so that I don't end up in the hospital again.
My diabetes educator/supplier urged me to find a job with insurance, but being young and wanting to find a job I liked, got in the way. I don't attend or look forward to college anymore for the mere fact that I'm afraid of not being able to be financially "diabetic" But the worse feeling of all is worrying about the cost of diabetes. Worrying about the right insurance while you worry about even making it through your day at work. Looking for the cheapest brands in strips, meters, and even doctors. It seems like when you want to do right for herself you have cut corners to survive financially. I can’t afford to be broke in this economy, dammit I’m diabetic.
I recently went to the doctor and was stunned to find out I had to pay half up front or I wouldn't be able to see her. I already owed money before and assumed they would add it to my total, so I felt rejected. After the appointment I felt like I wasted my money, because the women told me 3 things that helped, equally out to 75 bucks, and she showed no interest in my sugar logs and complaints. I guess you have to spend some money on bad doctors before you get the right one. But how long will my diabetes suffer from having to wait for somebody to listen to me?
Why don't I have insurance? The same reason nobody else does: either the job won't give you enough hours to cover it or your diabetes won't be covered because you have been labeled "pre-existing." I'm to the point where I might actually consider denying insurance based on the fact that Lilly and Sanofo Aventis will cut my free medicine if I have insurance. So if I'm getting insurance, it better me damn good and right away. (update: should have go the damn insurance through my company, now I might get laid off. Fuck cobra)
In conclusion I feel that in able to be financially diabetic, you need to be able to cut corners. It's equivalent to the snake eating it's self. Meaning, I depend on medicine and food but what's the point in buying medicine if you can't buy food? Or having food but no medicine. This snake seems to reflect the rest of my life and it’s choices, from being a regular joe that works and pays his bills to being diabetic jane who has no energy to work as she stresses over bills, juggles being healthy, as she cuts corners in the diabetic department (doctors, meters, needles, meds). With all this weighing on our minds you can’t help but think you’re being punished for being diabetic.
Who really wins in the end, them? Or Us? Or can we outwit them in the end?
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