Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Update time I guess... It's been a long year and not much things have changed. I broke free of an evil empire, learn the depths of poverty, found a world full of magic and somehow I kind of fixed my sleep schedule. But worst or best of all I have managed to worsen my sugars and let diabetes take me down like the gigantic (no survivors). It's to the point my doc just threw her hands up in the air and said help me to help you. I didn't have much to give her after that. This weekend I went to diabetes group on a whim in order to teach my husband the emotional side of diabetes. Present was more then 200 hundred years of diabetes knowledge among the type 1s, I was the baby of the group. The speaker pretty opened up discussion on everything you can think of about diabetes, social to physical to psychological aspect as well as depression and goals. Really is a in your face my diabetes suck wake up call for me, but like every other wake up call I knew it wouldn't last long, so the teacher reached his hand out to me and offered to focus more one on one with me. Turns out I'm. One of those all or nothing diabetics and I negotiate whether I will do something or not till I just don't do it kind of diabetic, as well as some weird happy go lucky don't mind if I'm high diabetic that knows life's easier high then low or figuring out stuff cuz I'm just going to be high anyway... Diabetic. In a nut shell I'm your typical diabetic and your typical human with a chronic condition. The prescription for me is baby steps, thats what about bob life for me here. I've also decided to joon a depression group for diabetics, not sure how I feel about that...I'm opening up to one person why 12 more? I know the group has the potential to be a safe haven but I don't want to think that I'm just going to explode with emotion. I think I'm more happily depressed, for right now i will consider it more like a accountability group and a way to diminish negative thoughts,especially diabetic ones. groups just make feel unsettled, like I have to feeeeeeeellll something. I'm more a pour my guts on the table and walk out of the room and never be seen again kind of person. Just because I stick around doesn't mean you get me. Guess we will se where this group takes me, I just hope they can take a joke, life is to serious not to poke fun at it. They say depressed people ignore why they are depressed and therefore can't see the signs of depression, I think distraction is a good thing. I think there is much to be learned by both schools of thoughts.

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