Saturday, December 11, 2010

Big foot and Diabetes

Facebook status: *

controlling sugars is to trying to hit a moving target as catching bigfoot is to catching bigfoot wearing a dress while rollar skating*

I guess i'm due for a update :( Well since my last appointment with the doc, where i found out i wasn't losing any weight after exercising for a whole month, i kinda used the holidays as an excuse to let myself go :( I've been eating really bad and just doing whatever i want as well as chasing,creating, dealing with highs. I just stopped caring for a bit, kinda got into my diabetic black hole. I think another reason i've been so off is the cold weather as well as the fear of sleeping habits bringing me down. But it seems that if things aren't so bad as before with my sleep maybe it's because my a1c is down? i'm taking my medicine more frequently?

That doesn't mean it has n' been hard to find the energy though.It's like once the cold hits i get depressed and unmotivated to exercise, eat right, or check my sugar. I've also been missing my husband, sleeping bad, and having some weird money troubles.... Just kinda feeling blah this holiday season! So i gotta mix things around and try and start back on the right diabetic path! Which is going to be hard because when my husband  comes home i know all he will want to do is eat out! Which i'm okay with but i think i'm done gorging myself. It just doesn't make me feel happy to gorge myself with favorite foods sometimes, i'm just so used to doing that before when i wasn't doing anything right diabetes wise or health wise in general. But normally (before that is) i would let myself be high while now i'll take my medicine and feel not so great high and not so great if i happen to get low (hate lows).

There is always some turning point or wise words that snap you out and i guess i'm reminded of when i used to say i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also don't want the winter to bring me down like it did last year. So i'm going to try and find some energy to do the things i want to do, Christine Dwyer said on her facebook today " Commit to spending more time participating in life than watching it pass you by." Sucks to say this is true statement for me, i guess i get tired of diabetes controling me and then it slapped in the face by diabetes when i let it gets out of control, in otherwords let it control me in a bad way! I gotta try and let diabetes control me in a good way, but like every diabetic out there sometimes you just get tired... and winter time is not helping me. So i'm going to try and continue to strive for good sugars, maybe look at what i'm eating a little bit more, and just try and live my life and not let the winter bring me down! 

How am i going to do this you may ask, ugh well i guess some of my major goals is to 1. start the morning out with my fave shakeology drink and side of protein 2. try to commit to exercise at least every other day 3. try to write my sugars down before meals. Sometimes i wonder how i am going to accomplish everything, i just gotta remember to take a breath and start each day new or a least after having a pity party try to push myself to do the things i need to do so that i don't find myself pitying myself so much (other day i was having a bad sugars and i just wondered how the hell am i suppose to function at a job lose weight wah wah wah you get the pic, i'm not saying it's not bad to have a pity party just can't let it bring me down even more, instead i need to ask myself how to NOT get to a point where i don't feel like diabetes can hold me back). 

Once again i find that life forces me to handle the basics before it will let me take on more. Like one of my all time favorite movies What about Bob, it's baby steps! Ugh! I hate baby steps! But damn life is full of the little boring mundane tasks that make things like diabetes manageable, or even your health or commitment to exercise .So this holiday season instead of making big lofty goals try and make goals that you can accomplish. God knows i need to!

My fave facebook status i wrote:   

*you know how you just don't know why thing are the way they are like, we will never truly know what stonehedge, brumida triangle, if big foot or loch ness monster exist, etc are? i think figuring out blood sugars should go in that category*

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