struggle

the only thing i want people to realize is hard or a struggle is that i some how have to find a way to start and complete three goals at once, exercise, taking insulin, and eating right. Sometimes exercise and what i eat changes the insulin, which in turn can make me go high or low. Sometimes i don't have the energy to exercise because of the insulin or because i didn't get my carbs right, sometimes i can't eat right because i don't have money or the patience to try new foods or even cook, which in turn affects my sugar and energy to exercise. It's like the snake eating itself sometimes, finding balance is hard so don't blame me for wanting to eat something out of the ordinary, exercise while high, or even ignore checking my sugars when all i want is a day without having to do so much upkeep on myself. Part of me just wants a life outside of being diabetic, and even though ignorance is bliss, you have to admit rome wasn't built in a day. (can't forget depression, sometimes depression makes me want to nothing at all but hide underneath the covers, it's actually kinda hard to snap yourself out of that kind of mood sometimes)