Update time I guess... It's been a long year and not much things have changed. I broke free of an evil empire, learn the depths of poverty, found a world full of magic and somehow I kind of fixed my sleep schedule. But worst or best of all I have managed to worsen my sugars and let diabetes take me down like the gigantic (no survivors). It's to the point my doc just threw her hands up in the air and said help me to help you. I didn't have much to give her after that. This weekend I went to diabetes group on a whim in order to teach my husband the emotional side of diabetes. Present was more then 200 hundred years of diabetes knowledge among the type 1s, I was the baby of the group. The speaker pretty opened up discussion on everything you can think of about diabetes, social to physical to psychological aspect as well as depression and goals. Really is a in your face my diabetes suck wake up call for me, but like every other wake up call I knew it wouldn't last long, so the teacher reached his hand out to me and offered to focus more one on one with me. Turns out I'm. One of those all or nothing diabetics and I negotiate whether I will do something or not till I just don't do it kind of diabetic, as well as some weird happy go lucky don't mind if I'm high diabetic that knows life's easier high then low or figuring out stuff cuz I'm just going to be high anyway... Diabetic. In a nut shell I'm your typical diabetic and your typical human with a chronic condition. The prescription for me is baby steps, thats what about bob life for me here. I've also decided to joon a depression group for diabetics, not sure how I feel about that...I'm opening up to one person why 12 more? I know the group has the potential to be a safe haven but I don't want to think that I'm just going to explode with emotion. I think I'm more happily depressed, for right now i will consider it more like a accountability group and a way to diminish negative thoughts,especially diabetic ones. groups just make feel unsettled, like I have to feeeeeeeellll something. I'm more a pour my guts on the table and walk out of the room and never be seen again kind of person. Just because I stick around doesn't mean you get me. Guess we will se where this group takes me, I just hope they can take a joke, life is to serious not to poke fun at it. They say depressed people ignore why they are depressed and therefore can't see the signs of depression, I think distraction is a good thing. I think there is much to be learned by both schools of thoughts.

Big foot and Diabetes

Facebook status: *

controlling sugars is to trying to hit a moving target as catching bigfoot is to catching bigfoot wearing a dress while rollar skating*

I guess i'm due for a update :( Well since my last appointment with the doc, where i found out i wasn't losing any weight after exercising for a whole month, i kinda used the holidays as an excuse to let myself go :( I've been eating really bad and just doing whatever i want as well as chasing,creating, dealing with highs. I just stopped caring for a bit, kinda got into my diabetic black hole. I think another reason i've been so off is the cold weather as well as the fear of sleeping habits bringing me down. But it seems that if things aren't so bad as before with my sleep maybe it's because my a1c is down? i'm taking my medicine more frequently?

That doesn't mean it has n' been hard to find the energy though.It's like once the cold hits i get depressed and unmotivated to exercise, eat right, or check my sugar. I've also been missing my husband, sleeping bad, and having some weird money troubles.... Just kinda feeling blah this holiday season! So i gotta mix things around and try and start back on the right diabetic path! Which is going to be hard because when my husband  comes home i know all he will want to do is eat out! Which i'm okay with but i think i'm done gorging myself. It just doesn't make me feel happy to gorge myself with favorite foods sometimes, i'm just so used to doing that before when i wasn't doing anything right diabetes wise or health wise in general. But normally (before that is) i would let myself be high while now i'll take my medicine and feel not so great high and not so great if i happen to get low (hate lows).

There is always some turning point or wise words that snap you out and i guess i'm reminded of when i used to say i'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. I also don't want the winter to bring me down like it did last year. So i'm going to try and find some energy to do the things i want to do, Christine Dwyer said on her facebook today " Commit to spending more time participating in life than watching it pass you by." Sucks to say this is true statement for me, i guess i get tired of diabetes controling me and then it slapped in the face by diabetes when i let it gets out of control, in otherwords let it control me in a bad way! I gotta try and let diabetes control me in a good way, but like every diabetic out there sometimes you just get tired... and winter time is not helping me. So i'm going to try and continue to strive for good sugars, maybe look at what i'm eating a little bit more, and just try and live my life and not let the winter bring me down! 

How am i going to do this you may ask, ugh well i guess some of my major goals is to 1. start the morning out with my fave shakeology drink and side of protein 2. try to commit to exercise at least every other day 3. try to write my sugars down before meals. Sometimes i wonder how i am going to accomplish everything, i just gotta remember to take a breath and start each day new or a least after having a pity party try to push myself to do the things i need to do so that i don't find myself pitying myself so much (other day i was having a bad sugars and i just wondered how the hell am i suppose to function at a job lose weight wah wah wah you get the pic, i'm not saying it's not bad to have a pity party just can't let it bring me down even more, instead i need to ask myself how to NOT get to a point where i don't feel like diabetes can hold me back). 

Once again i find that life forces me to handle the basics before it will let me take on more. Like one of my all time favorite movies What about Bob, it's baby steps! Ugh! I hate baby steps! But damn life is full of the little boring mundane tasks that make things like diabetes manageable, or even your health or commitment to exercise .So this holiday season instead of making big lofty goals try and make goals that you can accomplish. God knows i need to!

My fave facebook status i wrote:   

*you know how you just don't know why thing are the way they are like, we will never truly know what stonehedge, brumida triangle, if big foot or loch ness monster exist, etc are? i think figuring out blood sugars should go in that category*

Food Revolution starts

from http://whatsforschoollunch.blogspot.com/

Today is important day for Schools and children all over the country because the House passed the Child Nutrition Bill has been passed 264 to 157! What's all this about? Well Michelle Obama lobbied for a bill to help end hunger and stave off obesity, and since her husband is the president... it will go through no problem. the bill will set up new rules and regulations to improve the quality of school meals, that means more fruits veggies and hopefully lean meats, whole grains, and more fresh food opposed to frozen.

As of now the lunch program feeds more than 31 million children, that's our nations future we are feeding horrible high processed, high calorie, high fat food. The new nutritional guide lines and meals will apply to alot of schools that offer better meals before and during lunch but also include afterschool dinner of sorts and vending machines will see a change for the better as well.

Now your probabl wondering what the catch is? This is made possible by cutting into food stamps, only half of the $4.5 billion will come from this.BUT good things about the bill besides the upgrde in nutrition are: Kids on Medicad will be approved to get these new lunches for free and summer programs will help feed hunger when kids are out of school.

I told you the facts now i must share what i think!! whahaha

I totally support this bill! And i'm glad it passed!! If our kids or the future to America then why are we teaching them bad habits in school?? I was a kid once and i don't remember one healthy meal i ate, not one! All i can remember is that my plate was full of food, that i saw lunch ladies pull big deep pans of food out to dish to me, and i remember the good meals were when we had taco bell or burger king. There also has been since i can remember a "other line," this is where you an get your pizza,burgers,fries,crispy chicken sandwiches,chips, and ice cream at! One of my favorite meals in high school was the french fries covered in cheese, and ALOT of my friends ate this for lunch and shared it as well. I will admit i did have a salad bar at one of my schools, but  NOBODY WENT TO IT, and if i did have it i always had the baked potato covered in sour cream and bacon and there was a big pot of ranch dressing to throw on top of the lettuce (letttuce is like nothing). Now i do remember vending machines, and this is unfortunatly where alot of students get their pick me ups in the after noon be it from candy bars or sugary mountain dew drinks. I remember selling soda to students to make money for some school thing, and that place was always full of students.

Recession is here and American families are being forced to sacrifice nutrition for what ever is cheaper and keeps the family full, schools now have to take on feeding their students for all meals(new bill will offer or con. That's great because i know it has not been easy for people to feed their families, and they are forced to buy cheap products that lead to obesity and the food shelters aren't helping because they supply these non perishable foods.When i was in Ohio, DHL laid off thousands of people and the quote i remember from "60 seconds" episode showed a women talking about her family she said "You know we used to give to the food shelters all the time, but [because of lay offs] we have to go to them now" The stuff we can't afford to pay for now we pay for later by eating the cheaper alternative aka junk food, we are being fed into a future with complications like diabetes, high cholesterol, heart attack, etc.

For me i feel like this is more personal because i went to school and i ate there, and i know most of my bad habits with food probably can be attributed to that fact. I didn't start thinking about real healthy eating until i was out of high school and saw my weight increase. I know there was some classes that tried to tell us about this kind of stuff, but it really went in one ear and out the other because it was grade it it was a class to be passed. Of course after school my friends and I pigged out on ie cream, chips, mountain  dew, whatever we wanted. Maybe then we didn't have to worry about it, but nobody really taught us to invest in our selves back then, this transforms into a issue we end up stressing about in our adult life.

One of my favorite shows was Jamie Oliver Food Revolution, where this British cook decided to change a town into being healthy, he successfully did so for the school in Great Britain. Some of his challenges were coming up with proper amount nutritional food to meet the strict school guidelines and trying to make a meal out of meager money spent on a meal. Some of my favorites moments were:
1. when he went to classroom of young students and many of them couldn't name furits/veggies but they could name them in there popular form (like french fry)
2. kid ate breakfast pizza and then pizza for lunch,lots of the veggies and fruit were thrown away during lunch, all the frozen food the lunch ladies used
3. basically cooking was nonexistant verything was heated up, and when jamie read the labels most of them were long hard to pronunce words,
4. and last jamie showed how chicken nuggets were made 1. take chicken skin off of chicken 2. seperate the good parts 3. left with carcass now 4. chicken skin and carcus put into food processor 5. food is sifted so that bigger bits aren't in 6. add flavoring, processed ingredients 7. then the gunk is cookie cuttered into chicken fingers 8. add crispy breading = chicken nuggets, and the kids choose the chicken nuggets even though they knew it was bad, jamie says we have brain washed our kids to the point where they will eat it in those familiar friendly fun shapes. (watch here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S9B7im8aQjo)

all i can say after writing this blog is thank god for shakeology, because it helps give me what i need every day and it taste good and has no secret hidden anti nutritional harm in it.


Most info from the beginning of this blog came from http://mobile.nytimes.com/2010/12/03/us/politics/03child.xml this is quote from there that i liked: 

Mr. McGovern, who is co-chairman of the House Hunger Caucus, said: "Hunger and obesity are two si
des of the same coin. Highly processed, empty-calorie foods are less expensive than fresh nutritious foods."

Now the big question is how do you feel about them cutting into food stamp money? I personally don' think it's a problem since food stamps are commonly used on families with children, plus obama said he would make up for that money taken.

diabetes top ten

Top ten things I as a diabetic don't want to hear about, revised
1.If you see making choices to not eat something because i think it would be bad for me, but then i eat something horribly high carb anyway... then all i have to  say to you is that Since i'm going to cover it with medicine i pick and choose what i will at a risk i choose to take when i want, think of it as me picking my  posion if you don't mind.

2.The food i bring to snack on or eat as a meal i cover for, therefore I don't share food, period. Also do not eat a diabetic or a girls chocolate i save those for emergency and it's not cute or funny when you take it.

3. I have no problem checking my sugar or giving myself a shot in public, and if you see me lick the tiny bit of blood left over from checking then don't freak out, i always wanted to be a vampire ya know

 4. If you see me shooting up then don't make a big deal about and DON"T give me the "oh my gosh i would rather die," because it's stupid and ignorant. So i guess i  or you should just die then? You get over it i promise, especially if you want to live

5. I don't like the diabetes police and therefore will stomp out a your evil tyranny before it evens starts. You just need to trust that i'm handling it okay?

 6. I would like to apolgize in advance for mean spirited comments i may say while low, actually i take that back most likely what i said was true i just didn't have the guts to say it till i was low!

7. I will use the diabetes card on you, it sometimes it will be legit, but i'l let you in on a secret i will use the diabetes card so i won't get pressured into drinking alcohol.

8.Think of diabetes is a another job, and if you think i complain to much then you try worrying about it 24-7. I listen to your problems you can't stop for one second and listen to mine? Diabetes isn't fun and will suck forever,but at least lend a friendly ear when i'm having a bad day and don't be judgmental.

9. Learning about diabetes is great, but please don't think just because your *insert relative* did *insert diet* or had *insert awful expereince* or *insert body part amputated* as way to relate to me.. your either going to freak me out or waste your breath.

10. I CAN HAVE SUGAR. Take that away from me and I just might kill you... I'm not even joking

dreaded thanksgiving day

Happy Thanksgiving everybody i hope the food wasn't to hard on your sugars! Yes it's that time of year again where we all go to our family gatherings and stuff ourselves full of good stuff like turkey, stuffing, pie and soda ( i always notice people forget the diet for me). This week and year is a little different for me because i am not around family, but was the food temptation still there? First off food tempetation is around me 24-7! Even though i wanna play devil advocates with my sugars, i can't help but wanna have cheat days every couple of days are so!

Thanksgiving can be a huge pitfull for a diabetic. I would love to just not even worry about it and unfortuanelty this holiday becomes my cheat day no matter if i'm doing good with sugars are not. It's hard to be good anytime of the year, but holidays are especially hard when you do'n want to be left out and you just want to feel normal for once and consume lots of food.( Is it funny how spending time with friends ad family always involves food or presents?). I know i'm smarter then that, we are all smarter then that, but i don't think we should feel to bad for giving in once and a while. The real big deal is making sure we don't make a habit of it. SO as much as i would love to eat pumpkin pie every day i'm not, maybe instead i'll add pumpkin to my shakeology.

Another way not to feel so bad for is to exercise which is always important no matter what!! The other thing i have to be consicious of is not to eat till i'm past full, which i still struggle with from my fast food days (which  come and go to!) and when i would wait to eat so that i coul consume alot of food. This season if you do decide to eat outside your normal means make sure to start over tomorrow, if your diabetic make sure to keep your sugars in check as much as you can.
 
I have noticed the last couple weeks that i get this feeling where i wake up and i don't want to do anything diabetic, i even feel this more so when my sugars aren't showing good results. I even feel this more so after a doctors appointment!! I swear after a doctors appointment i just wanna eat out, and usually i do! Yes i do because i end up hungry for some reason. Well i went to the doc and nutritionnist before the big turkey day (how convenient!). The biggest problem i'm facing right now is documenting my sugars, even though i take my medicine with my meals i can't find the best ways to tweak or fix any problems because i don't write the results down (this is whati ahve to do, check my sugar before and after meals, before and after exercise, anytime i'm low or high that could average to about 11-14 sticks a day). I tell you the truth i don't want to write the sugars down at all, why would i want more stuff to worry about doing on top of all the diabetic stuff i do already (daibetes is af ull time job, exercise eating stress just plain living affects it all the time). But i found something out that i'm not to happy about :( if i don't have my sugars in the right range, especially when i exercise i won't lose weight :( I need to look up more info on this, but it kind of makes sense. Once again it's my fault for not being able to lose weight :( even though this whole month i have been exercising and drinking shakeology i'm sabotaging myself. Isn't that how it goes for everybody when there trying to lose weight, you sabotage yourself? Diabetes gets me again!! I did tell my doc this, at least you can never get bored with diabetes because things change on you all the time (seriously what i could do a month ago i can't do now, it's aggravating). Now i do have a neat device to help me out, but it kinda depressed me the week before, i have a continous glucose montior to help me watch my sugars. Think of it as the gps of my sugars, it shows me if it's going up down left or right :) I guess my next goal is this in diabetes

1) my doc wants me to make one meal a priority that i check, so i'm choosing breakfast because i want to eat oatmeal and eggs every morning.
2) try to figure out cgm software, and do more to input info on that (which means inputing what i eat and medicine i take twice now, for the two different machines my pump and the cgm fun fun).
3) decrease my basal when i exercise by 50 percent, because my sugars need to be normal when i exercise. This should be interesting, i just hope it doesn't hinder my performance or make me go to low to quickly.

I also had a long chat with my nutritionist, she wants me eating 3 meals a day that are 45 carbs each and two 15 carb snacks, in total that is 165 carbs, around 1,400 cals, to help me lose weight. I asked her to take a look at my shakeology website to tell me what she thinks of the site, we also discussed how important it is to have carbs in your diet. Another school of thought is that low carb is the way ago, i don't support that idea and the nutritionist made a interesting point you need carbs to for the energy, no carbs means no energy! With exercise i need all the energy i can get! I like my coach's idea of eating more carbs during the day and less at night, that way you burn carbs/calories when you exercise during the day. Also talked about high fructose corn syrup, i don't eat it as much as i can but my nutritionist said that there is alot of hype around it and that the high fructose corn syrup is a problem because people drink or eat high amounts of it (think coke cola), she said some is okay. I'm going to be safe rather then sorry and just not have any, i'm also going to try and cut DIET soda out because i read somewhere that it can make you hungrier plus it has bad stuff in it anyway. SO  i learned alot of stuff this weekend on the eve before turkey day! Kinda ruined it for me in both aspects, no fun watching sugars during the holidays! no fun being a healthy stickler diabetic during the holidays either! That's why i thank god for shakeology, at least i feel like i'm trying to do some good to my body with all the nutrition in it.

Well here's to a hopefully good end to this year! I know i'm having new struggles as i try to continue being healthy, it seems old habits just want to creep back! Right now my sleep is all messed up and i don't know if this is just me but if my sleep is messed up then EVERYTHING In my life falls in my diabetic black hole, all my efforts and motivation go down and bring everything else in my life down to. I'm going to try my best to fix my sleep and make exercise and diabetes a priority this month! Tomorrow is another day to start anew my friends!

meeting kat von d

Last week i went to Kat Von D's book signing!!! The book is titled "The Tattoo Chronicles" which is her thoughts, insights, and daily life working as tattoo artist and the people she meets. The event was held at Borders thank you borders, and it was quite full. All i know is people were saying there were like a 500 people there, and they had to double up on wrist band colors. My friend and I were group 3, which mean there were 100 people before us! We showed up early and awaited to meet the coolest person on earth!! All i can remember is that i got a hug from Kat Von D, she had a wonderful smile, beautiful make up, and she looked hello tired (she had driven from up north to race down here to make it). I got my picture taken with her and she signed my book, that's when she noticed the bag in my hand. YES i bought a gift for kat von d! i was so happy to meet her and i wanted to share with her some cool beachbody stuff!!

I ended up buying her a glittery pink virgin mary coin bank and i gave her a copy of my coveted Turbo Fire sampler Hitt 5 dvd (which i got at turbo fire release party, stay tuned for that story!). Enjoy the clips and vids i got, and go out and read her book it's quite interesting and shows a totally differnt side to this wonderful women. Not only is she insightful a hard worker, but she very sensitive and truly passionate girl who is in love with love, who isn't! Also there are tons of piccs and stories of people she has encoutered in the tattoo world. Let's just say that this side of kat is not the one you get to easily see on the tv show. I Hope she loves turbo Fire it's my fave workout and i give her some businesss cards to ><! yes i did! She seemed really thankful for the gift and excited that i gave her a workout. Hey celebs have to workout to :) My next goal? get a awesome chest piece from her :)

view video here, links to youtube,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=asdT1kJWgt4&feature=player_embedded

Crazy Week

This week has been crazy for me!! Or should i say INSANE, because I went to SHAUN T Event in  San Diego this past weekend (hosted by the wonderful Scott Lord). I will say that morning i was not in the mood for exercise, i'm so not morning person, but i woke my butt up early and drove over and i'm glad i did because it was great seeing the room fill up with other beachbody  coaches and exercise insanity enthusiast! All my beachbody coach friends showed up and we eagerly awaited for the our special guest to arrive!! I was little nervous, but i found a great spot in the back row... THAT'S RIGHT BACK ROW, i didn't want to go up front where all the mega insanity grads were going to be and so i thought i would be safe in the back modifiying and doing waht i can...i thought i would be safe... Shaun t comes fashionably late, and whiel there setting up his mic before he enters, everybody is just staring and waiting. When i see him step into the room, still adjusting and getting ready, nobody says a word so i say "Shaun t?" and BAM he's ready and he comes straight to me and gives me a big HUG!!!! I GOT THE FIRST HUG, ME!!!!! *faint* it was such a privlege and honor to be hugged by this amazing trainer!! Right away we started to work out! Let me tell you this i don't do insanity, not yet, but i have done couple insanity workouts but this workout he did that day was lie super insanity. Most likely becuse he just finished doing ASLYUM, and he threw in some of those moves in their. I tried my best to keep up and i modifyed what i could because it's important to never stop moving! So i'm  chilling in the back doing this lunge like move when all of sudden he jumps down from stage and enters teh crowd, i think "no worries i'm in the back" and all of sudden this camera (there was a camera crew there) and shaun t appear out of no where. Shaun is yelling  "GO GO GO GO GO" and i'm like in shock i just keep moving and doing the lunges as fast as i can so i don't disappoint. I think i was part shocked, part motivated, and part mortified that i got bee lined!!! But i will say it was awesome!! i did the move with his encouragement, even if i couldn't breath after-wards. I was gald when the camera went away so i could catch my breath!!! NEVER EVER think that since your in the back your off the hook NEVER THINK THAT. The first hour workout (yes i said a hour) was great i worked really hard doing pushups of all sorts and many moves that involved using your whole body lie jumping jacks. Shaun t was nice enough to do a photo op and signging and then it was lunchtime!! After lunch we did another workout, and yes i was praying for rockin body or hip hop abs but we still got a good workout with the interesting strength moves we did. My fave move of the day was the crawl around the room. Basically we had to craw like a bear without suing our knees, it was a interesting way to meet people! At the end of the workout we ran in place and tried to go as fast as we could, shaun t had us run up to him and we were all together in a circle running as hard as we could. It was great motivation to keep on moving, after that we yelled in the camera about how much we loved Insanity! Whew! What a day what a workout! I did end up buying a shaun T tank, which i love and was surprised that the size L fit me! I also won a tshirt that says insanity and marks the day, along with all my coach friends (very lucky concidence). Shaun T did a q and a and here's some things i learned about him
1. he loves gymnastics!!
2. i asked when rockin body 2 was coming out, and he said he wishes! I guess it wasn't popular when it came out. But he loves dancing to and says who knows maybe. Let's make this happen!
3 Aslyum comes out in the end of February, it's a stand alone from insanity, it's more like endurance sports like. The ladder will come with the package
4. His main influneces for insanity was the exercises and endurance exercises they did for track in highschool
5. Shaun t once made 15 dollars a exercise class and would do it 7 days a week all  because he loved working out
6.He has his own personal trainer and goes to exercise classes!! especially dance
7. If janet jackson called to say he needed to come be a back up dancer he would drop what he was doing and go
8. shaun t eats like 30 egg whites a day ( i think he said 30 or 40 but omg!)
9. One of his fave snacks is salt and vinegar chips, he said he has reached a point where he doesn't feel guilty for eating what he wants. It's all about moderation and exercise, he doesn't beat himself up for wanting a sweat!
10. SHAUN T does NOT DO SIT UPS EVER

also he has the coolest shoes ever, there nike, yellow and black and they say DIG DEEPER on the back!!
Also i told him i think he could beat chuck norris and he said nahhhh, and i got another hug :).